Page 15 of College Town

He sniffles.

“Okay?”

“This is awkward,” he says. “Leo loves me but he’s dating you.”

She socks him in the arm, smile going toothy. “Asshole.” Then she melts again, sweet and supportive and everything he doesn’t deserve. “Okay?” she repeats.

“No. But I’ll take your word for it.”

“Do. My word’s awesome.” She pats his thighs, three brisk slaps, then stands and heads back for the kitchen. “Get more coffee in you. Bagels incoming.”

~*~

Two cups of coffee, and one bagel later, he’s on the road, blinking lots, but able to see, nauseous, but not about to barf. His heart still hammers, and doesn’t stop until he lets himself into his kitchen back home and finds his parents and Leo all snugged around the long, too-formal dining table where all their meals are taken now, since Dad’s chair is too bulky for the café table in the kitchen.

Three heads turn toward the sound of the door opening, and three faces smile, though Dad’s is lopsided, as usual these days. The sight of it always twists around Lawson’s heart like a vice grip, painful and palpitating.

“Good morning,” Mom says brightly, glasses catching the early, pale sunlight, hiding the tired smudges beneath her eyes. Lawson knows they’re there.

“Morning,” Leo and Dad echo, quieter.

“Hi.” Lawson searches Leo’s face, quickly, for signs of resentment, anger, frustration. But his smile is soft and unassuming, and he ducks his head back over his eggs before Lawson can apologize.

And how could he anyway? In front of Dad?

“There’s bacon and English muffins on the stove,” Mom says.

Lawson goes to kiss her on the cheek, and shakes his head. “No, thank you. I already ate.”

He turns to Dad. “You good this morning?”Did Leo do okay? he doesn’t ask. Just like he doesn’t sayI’m sorry, I’m so damn sorry, Dad.

Dad nods, a jerky up-down flopping motion these days. “I’m…good.”

A lump forms in Lawson’s throat, so he nods. Looks then to Leo, and tries to convey the depth of his thanks with a glance.

Leo nods, lips quirking upward, and Lawson heads up to take a shower thinking, hoping, that Leo understands what this favor means to him.

~*~

He’s working the noon to six shift today, so he has time to shower, shave, make himself quasi-presentable, and drink plenty of water before he clocks in. He feels better by then, a little anxious, jittery, and ashamed of himself after he always is after a night of overindulgence, but it’s manageable. His stomach has settled, and he eats a sandwich between taking orders to soothe his jangled blood sugar. Dana texts to ask how he’s doing, and sends back a string of kissy-face emojis when he responds with a simplebetter, thanks to u and leo.

By two, he’s almost managed to forget that Tommy Cattaneo walked into the shop yesterday and sent him spinning out of control.

Almost.

Then the bell dings, and he shoots an absent glance toward the door over the heads of the college girls whose orders he’s taking, and his heart falls down into his stomach like a hot stone.

Tommy’s back.

Tommy looks absolutely devastating, with his hair slicked back again, in a bespoke blue suit, blue shirt, blue tie, Burberry scarf threaded beneath the collar of his camelhair coat. His gaze flicks immediately to the register, lands on Lawson, and stays pinned there, as he wends his way through the crowd of students.

Tommy is also not alone. When Lawson drags his gaze from him, hoping to distract himself from the full-body shakes that gripped him the moment they made eye contact, he spots the elegant brunette trailing along in Tommy’s wake.

She’s tall, a little taller than Tommy, in fact, though that might be down to her spike heels. She’s wrapped in an expensive wool coat, but Lawson spies the hem of a black dress beneath. Hair gleaming, Dior logo winking on the earpieces of her sunglasses, she’s reading something on her phone, not paying attention to her surroundings, but it’s obvious she and Tommy are together; they’re too well-matched to be anythingbut.

Lawson remembers Tommy’s hands pushing on his chest, on the base of his throat; gently at first, and then frantically. The wet shine of his lips in the gloaming, and the wild whites of his eyes.“Law, Law, wait, please – I can’t – I’m sorry, Ican’t–”Of course, he thinks. Of course Tommy never wanted him. Why would he, when he could have someone like her?

Lawson’s afraid his sandwich is going to come back up.

---