Page 61 of The Wild Charge

“Some help you are,” he said – but it was only words. He hadn’t called Abe because he wanted someone to tell him exactly what to do; to pat his hand and assure him love would find a way, or it would all work out, or some such bollocks.

“Now, then,” Abe said. “I’ve an early lesson, so I’m going back to sleep.”

“Yeah. Ta.”

He couldn’t say he felt better, after he hung up – but he felt surer, and that was the best he could ask for, he thought.

He stubbed out his cigarette, picked up his bourbon…and then, before he left, gathered the little pile of ash off the otherwise clean porch and tossed it into the wind.

~*~

Tenny woke alone in bed, but a quick reach with his hand showed the sheets beside him were still warm. The clock on the bedside table told him it was 10:30. He hadn’t been asleep long; just a post-coital nap. The lamp was still on.

He rolled over so he faced the other way, toward the open bathroom door. Reese stood in front of the sink, naked, drinking water out of a paper cup. Tenny took the opportunity to let his eyes drink their fill, admiring the new, red scratches on his hips and shoulder blades. He reached on instinct to touch the tender place on his own shoulder, a bite mark that would bruise.

Reese pushed his hair back, drained off the cup, throat moving in an alluring way as he swallowed. He turned, then, found him awake, and tipped the cup in offering.

Tenny nodded.

He refilled it, and rejoined him on the bed, sliding beneath the covers to sit propped against the headboard.

“Thanks.” Tenny propped up on his elbow so he could take a few swallows – and then drank the whole thing down when he realized how thirsty he was.

Reese took the cup from him when he was done, and set it on the nightstand. He looked drowsy, the line of his mouth soft, eyes hooded, hair gloriously tangled. He seemed content, as ever, with silence.

But Tenny had told himI love you, had delivered anadmission, and he was freaking out a little. Because even if people tended to make declarations or say wild, careless things in the throes, Reese didn’t know that. And, also, Reese missed nothing. Would sense that he was awkward now.

Slowly, Reese turned to look down at him, and even if he was sleep-soft and content right now, Tenny felt pinned like a butterfly specimen. His pulse accelerated.

“What’s it feel like?”

“Huh?”

“What’s it feel like?”

“Getting fucked–?”

“No,” Reese interrupted with a sigh. His hand ghosted toward his chest, and then settled back in his lap. “Love,” he said, guileless and unselfconscious as a baby. “How do you know that you feel it?”

Tenny sucked in a breath. “Jesus,” he swore, under his breath. He might as well have been slapped.

Under different circumstances, he would have tried to back away from his confession.Oh, you know, I was just…out of my head. You were hitting that good spot dead on and the L-word just slipped out. People say it, but it doesn’t have to mean anything.

He thought of Reese frowning before.You’re acting. That poke in his ribs. He would see through a lie; telling him he hadn’t meant it would hurt him. And this, whatever it was between them, was the truest experience of Tenny’s life.

Be brave, Ian had said. He was a bit of a smarmy bastard, but he was probably right about some things. One mask-wearer to another:be brave.

So Tenny took a deep breath and said, “Well, you’re the one who likes poetry. One of those old, dead bastards can say it better than I can.” It was a cop-out, yes, but not a lie. An important distinction, in his mind.

Reese frowned. “There’s lots of…sunsets, and rivers, and canyons, and that sort of thing. Mercy calls it ‘metaphor.’ Sometimes I think I understand that, but…” The frown deepened. Bless him, he was adorable. “A lot of them talk about it hurting. It’s a pain, they say. It makes them crazy.”

Tenny swallowed, and wished for another cup of water.

“Does it hurt for you?” He looked worried, now, and whatever Tenny’s own fear was doing to his heartrate, that worry was entirely unacceptable.

Tenny lifted his hand. “Come here. You’re too far away up there.”

Reese scooted down in the bed until he lay beside him, and then rolled over onto his elbow so they faced one another. Close enough that Tenny could see all the dark striations in his blue eyes, and read each facial twitch; close enough that Tenny couldn’t hide behind any sort of mask, and was petrified because of it.

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