Page 46 of Blood of Wolves

“Now.” Náli grinned wide. “That’s more like it.” He closed his eyes, and surged forward clumsily.

Leif managed to get a hand up, and caught Náli’s puckered lips against his palm, rather than against his mouth.

Náli’s eyes fluttered open again, lips curving downward where they rested against Leif’s skin.

Leif said, “No.”

Náli’s brows furrowed. His thumbs dug into Leif’s collarbones. He pulled back just far enough so his words weren’t muffled when he said, “Why the fuck not?”

Because I prefer girls,Leif thought, but didn’t say. He didn’t know what had happened to prompt this, but, whatever it was, it had left Náli shaken, doubtful, and desperate for succor. He didn’t want Leif, not really; he was trying to prove something – to himself, or to whoever had prompted him to get drunk out of his mind the night before a dangerous excursion. It might have been nerves about flying, but he didn’t think so. No, this was personal – this had driven him to make a fool of himself, and that was something heneverdid.

“Because you don’t really want this,” he settled on. “And, right now, you’re not in the right mind to make such a big decision.”

Náli scowled, and reared back. Leif grabbed at his waist again and kept him from toppling backward to the floor. “What do you” – hiccup – “mean…big decisssssion. It’sss not big. E’vryone fucks,your graccccce.”

“You don’t,” Leif blurted out, before he could think not to. Damn.

Náli, always so superior and composed, had no defense against all the wine he’d drunk – nor the hurtful truth Leif had tossed between them, careless and stupid. Sober, he would have locked his expression up, tight and cold. Intoxicated, he cycled through shock, hurt, embarrassment, and then shame by slow turns, biting at his lip, his brow furrowed, eyes welling up. He tried to clamber off Leif’s lap, but Leif held him fast – easily, thanks to his clumsiness.

“Let me go,” Náli said, small and miserable, and turned his face away, eyes closing.

Leif hooked an arm behind his back, and held on. “I meant,” he said, tone softening, “that you – that you haven’t, right? It’s not an insult,” he rushed to add. “Tumbling a paid girl in a brothel isn’t anything to brag about or be proud of. I just meant–”

“That I’m – I’m not–” he sounded close to hyperventilating, breaths coming in fast surges, chest hitching. “Ex-experiencedenough for you. Is that it?”

“Náli. Náli, hey.” Leif had never thought to find himself in this position, not consoling this boy in this way, and he desperately wished someone else was here to handle it with more tact. But, well, here he was, and he would try, because it made him sad, in a way, to know that he and Náli had never been close, but that Náli had sought him out. That he didn’t have anyone else to go to like this. “Will you please tell me what’s going on?”

Náli sniffed aggressively, and didn’t respond.

“Not that I’m not flattered, but–”

“Oh, shut up, you oaf.”

Ah, there he was.

He faced him, finally, eyes glittering with unshed tears, some of the too-soft relaxation of the wine giving way to tightening lines of pain, and anger. He looked miserable. “Either let me up,” he bit out, “or fuck me.”

Leif tightened his grip. “No. You shouldn’t be wandering around the place in this state. And I can’t do…the other thing. You’d be sorry for it in the morning.”

Náli sneered, though it lacked his usual bite, face still no doubt a little numb from wine. “Oh, would I? I thought I was the one with psychic gifts.”

“You’d regret it,” Leif insisted. “Because the person you really want calls you ‘my lord’ and, I’m guessing, won’t cross the lines of propriety.”

Náli sucked in a breath like he’d been punched in the gut. He slapped at Leif’s arm, and this time, Leif released him – only to watch him stagger and land hard on his backside on the floorboards, as he’d feared he would. “How – you don’t – I should–”

“Náli.”

“What?”

“Do you know what I do when my brother is about to do something reckless and stupid?”

Náli bared his teeth, eyes wet.

“You can’t–”

“I try to talk him out of it.”

Another sneer, coupled with a shaky voice that didn’t manage to push across all the contempt it wanted to. “Does it ever work?”

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