Page 180 of Golden Eagle

“I was jealous, today,” she said, lashes sweeping down. “Watching you with him. I shouldn’t have been, I tried not to be…I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry. You feel what you feel.” They were talking, and even if it was painful, it was wonderful, because he’d never had this, either. This open communication with a lover, admissions and awkwardness and tears. It was glorious. “I’m too affectionate. I’m too free with touching and kissing.”

“No, but that’s one of the things I love about you. I love how sweet you are. That you’re so open like that.”

They regarded one another, gazes tear-bright, full of hopeless affection. When he smiled, she echoed it.

Mia said, “Too bad there aren’t any self-help books on ‘What To do When You Become a Vampire and Jump Into a Committed Relationship All At Once.’”

He blinked. “There are books about that sort of thing?”

“Well, not the vampire part. But self-help, yes.”

“Being a vampire after so long as a human is strange,” he apologized.

“But good strange, mostly,” she said. “I like the way…” She hesitated.

He let his hands trail down her throat, and shoulders, her arms. Took her hands in both of his and pulled them up to his chest, pressed them to his beating heart. She relaxed immediately.

“See, like that,” she said. “The way I can sense things. The way being near you makes everything better. I like the way I can sense your emotions and intentions when we’re – together.”

“Together in bed?” he asked, with an eyebrow waggle that left her chuckling.

“All the time – but in bed, yeah, especially then.” She blushed adorably. “When we’re together and I can feel that you want it just as badly as me, and it’s like we can anticipate what the other one needs. God, who could go back to regular sex after that? I can feel how much you want me sometimes,” she said, some of her self-consciousness fading, her pupils expanding. “It’s incredible.”

“It is.” He’d always been able to feel his lovers’ wants, their urgency, read their emotions…even when those emotions were dark and harmful.

“I guess there are times when that isn’t a perk, is it?” she guessed, reading him.

He offered a smile. “Right.”

Silence fell, but it wasn’t loaded this time. Contemplative. Val berated himself for doing a poor job as shepherd to a newly-turned vampire.

“I’m sorry I’ve neglected you.”

“Pfft, you haven’tneglectedme.” She sounded scandalized by the idea.

“No, I’ve been a poor mate. I’m sorry.”

“Val.” Her hands tightened on his. “Maybe I’m a new vampire, but you’re new as a free man. This isn’t easy on you.”

“It isn’t easy on either of us,” he corrected, softly.

“No.” She offered a small, hopeful smile. “Maybe we should cut ourselves some slack, huh?”

“Maybe so.”

She leaned forward, and let go of his hands so she could put her arms around his neck.

He hadn’t realized, until then, that he’d feared she might not embrace him again. At least not tonight, not with him smelling like another vampire’s kiss, not after all his ugly admissions. He held her back, tightly, gratefully.

“It’s okay,” she whispered, and he felt a pang, because he should have been the one reassuring her. “Want me to redo your hair?” she asked when she pulled back, a brave expression pinned in place, like she’d determined to cheerfully push past what they’d discussed.

An expression for which he was immediately thankful. “Please.” He slid back to the floor and presented her with his back, already anticipating the drag of her nails.

~*~

He dream-walked that night. Not intentionally, at first. He went to sleep with his head tucked close to Mia’s on the same pillow, his arms around her, but when he drifted off, and opened his eyes to the astral plane, he decided, on impulse, to go and find his brother.

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