Page 177 of Golden Eagle

Sasha clucked his tongue and climbed up higher on the bed, so his back was to the headboard. He urged Nikita’s head into his lap, and Nik put an arm around his waist, holding on tight – too tight.

Sasha didn’t seem to care. He went back to petting his hair, with both hands now. “Don’t be sorry,” he said lightly.

“I’m not–”

“I know.” His touch moved down Nikita’s neck, massaging at the tension there. “It’s okay.”

Nik’s eyes burned, and he pulled in deep breaths, his face mashed to Sasha’s bare leg, breathing in the familiar, comforting, beloved scent of him. He wanted to apologize again; to explain the chaos in his brain, the way it was attacking his body and rendering him useless. He wanted to talk about how unbelievable it was that any of this was happening. He wanted them to discuss what they’d do next, how they’d help Kolya. There were a thousand fears and questions he wanted to voice.

But all he said was, “I love you.” Voice small and choked.

“I love you, too,” Sasha said back. Warm, honest, easy. Comforting.

He kept stroking Nikita’s head and neck, and, finally, blessedly, he fell asleep like that.

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