Page 150 of Golden Eagle

Nikita already knew that, because Colette had told him. He said, “Sothat’swhat’s wrong with that little shit. Dumbass.”

“When was this?” Will asked sharply.

Jamie chewed at his lip. “Day before yesterday. And before that, I think.”

Trina breathed out an unhappy sound. “So he’s been hanging out with this guy, and he let us go in blind last night? Oh, thatbrat…”

Nikita took a step toward Jamie, and the other vampire took three steps back, face paling. Nik pulled up short, shocked by the drama of Jamie’s retreat. But he didn’t soften his tone. “And you didn’t think to tell us this? You didn’t think that might be valuable information to have?”

“He…he asked me not to…say anything.” He dropped his head afterward, miserable, small-voiced.

“So your loyalty’s with him,” Nikita said.

“Oh, goodChrist,” Much yelled. He pushed back his chair, stood, and turned to face them all, his fine-boned face a thunderhead. “I don’t have a fucking clue why Sasha would want you to bind him, because you’re the stupidest, most overbearing, miserable sod I’ve ever met,” he fumed, jabbing a finger toward Nikita. “He didn’t tell you” – he waved toward Jamie – “because he’s bloody afraid of you, you asshole. You can’t shout at people, and demand their loyalty – that’s not how a pack works! This, here” – Nik, Trina, Jamie – “isn’t a pack. It’s a bunch of people bitching at each other.”

“Much,” Will said, but he sounded more amused than chastising.

“I’m right,” Much insisted. “You know it, even this douchebag knows it, but he’ll never admit it. You don’t have a pack, and you never will, because you don’t listen to a fucking thing anyone says to you. Binding has existed since the first vampires, but becauseyoudecided it’s bad, then it must be, and fuck whatever Sasha wants, right? Who cares if your pack is scared, or upset, or anything so long as they listen to you. So long as they’reloyal, right?”

Nikita took a few shallow breaths through his mouth, his chest tight. He couldn’t decide if he was furious…or mortified.

“Much, that’s a bit harsh,” Will said, and he was definitely amused now. “I’m sorry,” he added to the three of them. “He gets a bit worked up sometimes.”

“Fuck you, I’m right,” Much said, and flopped back down in his chair.

More breaths for Nikita.I never asked for a pack,he thought, and knew the words were petty, awful.I had a pack, a human pack. The boys I grew up with, and they burned alive in the snow for nothing.

He saw the white of the snow, felt its cold biting through the wool of his trousers, its dampness bleeding through the old, cracked leather of his gloves. He saw the bright arcs of blood, the crumpled wolves. Heard the cry of the ravens, and the screaming. All the human screaming. The men he’d called brothers dying horribly, while he stood transfixed in the relentless beam of Rasputin’s gaze. He could still scent the rancid breath, wine-sour, and hot; remembered how it had felt to tip his head helpfully to the side, exposing his throat.

“Nik.” Trina touched his arm, and he jerked in place.

He’d closed his eyes, he realized, and swayed on his feet. His skin felt clammy beneath his clothes, and he couldn’t take a deep breath.

Trina studied him with knitted brows. “It’s alright,” she said softly.

I know that. He wanted to snarl it at her. He’d been alive for a hundred years, and here she was trying to comfort him. It was unseemly.

But his throat was too tight for speech.

Behind him, he heard the door click shut, and twisted a look over his shoulder.

“Jamie left,” Trina said.

“If I may,” Will said delicately, “I’m going to suggest that you all – take some time for yourselves. Go about your regular activities. Much and I will attempt contact with Gustav. We’ll contact you afterward and we’ll go from there. Does that sound fair?”

“It does,” Trina said, guardedly. “You’ll keep us in the loop?”

“Of course.”

Nikita swallowed and finally got some words out. “If I find him first, I won’t be asking him questions.”

Will offered a wry smile. “I figured as much. That’s why, forgive me, I’d like you and yours to take a step back for a bit. You’ve said you don’t want to be involved with the Institute, and after seeing…well, I think that’s best. We’ll take it from here, keep you informed, and let you know if we need your help. Otherwise I think your energy might be better spent on…domestic matters.”

Trina snorted. “That was diplomatic.”

“I do try.”

Much kept his back turned, but Nikita swore he could tell the kid was smirking just looking at the back of his tousled blond head.

---