Page 171 of Secondhand Smoke

“A little fear’s healthy. The day we stop being afraid is probably the day we stop being human.”

“What are you afraid of?” Aidan asked.

“Failure.” The answer was immediate. “Failing in a way that gets everyone hurt. I’m afraid for Mags, and you, and your sister, and all our brothers.”

He reached for his coffee. “And when you figure out what you’re afraid of, you figure out what you have to do. The things you can live with, and the things you have to change. You were afraid for Tango,” he said. “And you couldn’t live with letting something happen to him. I couldn’t either.” His voice lowered, became rougher. “But you made the smart call, and I didn’t.”

Shock went through him like champagne, fizzy and golden. A pleasant shock; one that felt like a deep compliment – well, because it was.

“Dad.”

Ghost gave him a look that was laid-bare, stripped of all presidential or paternal authority. “You made the right call.” He grinned. “Coulda gotten us all killed, but it was what you had to do. What we all had to do. You don’t leave a brother behind.” He nodded, growing serious again. “Thank you for reminding me of that.”

~*~

A strip of light shone beneath the door of the bathroom and Aidan heard the rush of water running. Across the hall, Sam was just stepping out of Ava’s old room where they’d put Tango.

“He’s asleep,” she whispered. “And, um, so is Whitney.”

“She’s in the bed with him?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit. What has she got, Stockholm Syndrome?”

“It’s only Stockholm Syndrome if you attach to your captor. Not your fellow captive.”

“Oh.”

“I feel bad, though,” Sam went on. “I want to call someone for her, but I don’t want to wake her up. Someone has to be worried about her.”

“One more night won’t make a difference,” Aidan said, and she nodded.

“Yeah. Guess not.” She scrubbed at her forehead with one hand and that was when he realized just how alert she’d been pretending to be.

“Baby, you need to get some sleep.”

She gave him an exhausted smile. “Yeah. Are we on the floor?”

“Fold-out couch, actually.”

“Ah. Fancy.”

Why was this awkward? It was, though.

“I already unfolded it and there’s sheets and blankets,” he said. “I’m gonna check on Kev and I’ll be out there in a minute.”

“Okay.” She shuffled down the hall, yawning, leaving him alone with the doorknob…and a suddenly-clammy hand. It wasn’t as if there were any surprises waiting for him on the other side of the door. And yet, something cold settled in his stomach, made him hesitant as he slowly opened the door and eased inside.

~*~

No fold-out sofa bed had ever looked so lovely. Aidan had indeed dressed it with sheets and blanket, though sloppily. Sam gave them a few quick tugs in an attempt to straighten them, gave up, and slid under the covers. She pulled in a deep breath, let it out on a sigh…and realized she was shaking all over.

She sat up. Lifted her hands to her face and saw the violent trembling in her fingers. It radiated up her arms, tightened her chest and rattled her insides.

“God,” she whispered.

“It’s the nerves.”

---