Page 144 of Secondhand Smoke

“Tacos,” she replied. She attempted a weak smile. “It’s Tuesday, after all.”

“It smells good.”

“Thanks.”

A beat, then:

“Sam–”

“Aidan–”

They stopped and started at the same time, gazes meeting.

Aidan dipped his head. “Ladies first.”

She took a deep breath. “How are you holding up with all of this?” Her blue-green eyes were serious and sympathetic behind her glasses. “Are you okay?”

“Actually, yeah.” He gave her a grim smile. “I mean, I have no idea what I’m gonna do with a little girl. I don’t even know how to change a diaper, much less have a tea party. I’m terrified. And every time I think about Kev I wanna puke. And sitting here right now, looking at you, I miss you so much it hurts. It hurts bad, Sam. Because I wanna lay you over this table and tear your jeans off.”

Her eyes widened.

“And I want you to sleep beside me and tell me it’s all gonna work out. So I’m pretty fucked up,” he concluded. “But I’m okay, yeah. I can handle it.”

Then he turned it back on her. “How ‘bout you? You okay, baby?”

“Well.” She sniffed. “I can’t sleep. And I’m trying really hard not to cry right now. But yeah, I’m okay too.” She swallowed. “God, Aidan, I miss you.”

He stood, and his feet propelled him to the stove. She didn’t resist when he captured her face in both hands, cradling her gently. She shivered, the little ripples of movement telegraphing up his arms.

“I wanna give you your space,” he said, voice raw. “I know you need time to think, because I’m a lot to take on. Fucked up me and my fucked up baggage.”

“Don’t say that about yourself,” she whispered fiercely. “You’re not fucked up.”

He pressed on, determined now. “I have a baby coming, and I have a club, and a bad habit of doing stupid shit. You deserve better than that.”

Her eyes moved across his face, filling with moisture. Her lips trembled as she breathed through them.

“But I’ve gotta ask…” He didn’t finish; kissed her instead.

Her mouth was soft and sweet as always, lips supple beneath his tongue as he pressed for entry.

Her hands landed on his chest, fingers flexing, tips pressing against his pecs. She leaned into him, head tipping back as the kiss deepened.

He wanted inside her. That was his first, vivid thought, as he felt the shapes of her breasts through her sweater. He wanted to strip her down and take her up against the kitchen counter while her dinner burned beside them.

But that was the sort of thinking that had led him to so many mistakes. This wasn’t just about her body; he wanted inside her heart and mind, too, and that would require a grace he’d never possessed before.

With a groan of disappointment, he pulled back from her. Her lips were parted and glistening, her eyes half-lidded and hungry. He almost broke his own promise and dove back in headfirst. But he made himself reach to stroke her face.

“You’re the woman I’ve been needing my whole life,” he said, throat tight. “You’re my old lady. And I’ll do whatever it takes tokeep youin my life.”

He kissed her again before she could respond, quickly, and then left.

~*~

As Erin predicted, Jesse was at the pool hall, and he washappyto cooperate in order to save face in front of his friends. As Aidan and Carter stood witness, he called Greg (whom he knew as G) and arranged a meeting at Hamilton House for two hours later.

“What are you gonna do?” Jesse asked as he pocketed his phone.

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