Page 21 of Shaman

“I…” He tried to elbow Aidan and the arm pressed into his throat until he gagged.

“This is the part where you pull your knife,” Ghost said, and dropped a hand to the hilt of just such a weapon that protruded from his waistband. “And stab him here.” He touched the place under his own ribs.

“I don’t have a knife.”

“Well, there’s your first mistake.”

Aidan let go, and Ian grabbed at his throat with both hands, a coughing fit stealing over him as air rushed back down his windpipe. He flicked a glance to Alec, where he stood off to the side, saw the way his brows were drawn together in worry, and looked away again, not wanting his lover’s concern and sympathy at the moment. In fact, bringing Alec along had been a bad idea, in some ways. No doubt he’d just dropped in the man’s estimation, grown weak, inept, and unattractive after his pitiful display.

Ghost said, “You know that old line about the best offense being a good defense? I mean, if you watch football.”

Ian glared at him.

“Well, it’s true in all things. The first step to defending yourself – or someone else,” he added, tipping his head toward Alec, “is being prepared. Knife. Gun. Backup knife. Backup gun. At all times.”

“I’ll get them,” Ian snapped.

“Good. The next thing is you’ve gotta be anticipating the worst. Run the scenarios in your head, really think about it. You can’t plan for everything, but you can plan for some stuff.”

“Fine.”

His brows went up. “Hey. You came to me. Do you wanna learn or not?”

He opened his mouth to respond – and then shut it, turned, and put his back to the man. When he reached to wipe the sweat from his forehead, he saw that his hand was shaking. He pressed his knuckles into the little unhappy divot between his brows and willed himself to calm. He wasn’t angry at Ghost, not truly. He was furious with himself, for yet again being weak, being afraid, being unable, despite all his millions and success, to control his circumstances.

Belatedly, he realized it had fallen silent, the steel walls echoing back a buzzing sort of quiet.

Ghost cleared his throat. “Give us a minute, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Aidan said.

“Sure, boss,” Mercy added.

There was the sound of shoes over concrete, the opening of the pedestrian door off to the side.

In a low voice, Ghost said, “Just a minute,” and Alec responded with a hesitant “okay.”

Ian knew, when the door clicked shut, that the two of them were alone. Kenneth Teague projected a certain energy into a room, one that made him seem taller than he was, steadier, and stronger, and more reliable than the crook he was on paper. It was an energy Ian had always been able to feel; the hum of acknowledgement between two predators in the wild – and that’s what it was: acknowledgement. Ian had always sensed a certain threat and aggression from the man, but it was a challenge, and never a dismissal. He’d always been an opponent to Ghost, and not prey. Ghost had always looked at him as if he was a man, and not the abused little boy he still felt like on the inside.

Slowly, he turned, letting his hand slide down his face, hopefully removing any signs of fear or tension.

Ghost stood with his arms folded loosely, feet braced apart, but somehow it wasn’t a threatening pose. “This has to do with the thing you called me about the other night, doesn’t it?”

“Hmm,” Ian hummed, noncommittal.

“Alright,” Ghost sighed. And then his tone softened, gruff and paternal and worried, and it was almost Ian’s undoing. “What’s going on, kid? What kinda trouble are you in?”

Ian couldn’t meet his gaze. He blinked studiously at the spotless toes of his brand new Nikes for a few seconds, until he could trust his voice. “It’s fine.”

“Ian–”

“I want to learn,” he said, lifting his head. “Alright? Can you teach me? Even if I’m an abysmal student?”

Ghost stared at him a long moment, but finally nodded. “Yeah. We can do that.”

Six

They were good teachers, the three of them. When Ian put aside his anger at himself, and his aversion to being grabbed and roughed up. When he allowed himself to sink into the exercises, chased away all his unhelpful thoughts, he started to learn.

---