Page 68 of Snow in Texas

“You took more than one?”

“Colin–” She caught whatever she was about to say behind tightly clenched teeth. Took a deep breath, gathered her composure. Exhaled in a slow, steady stream. “I took more than one, yeah. I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow, but realistically, we’re having a baby.”

He wondered why she hadn’t waited to tell him until she was one-hundred percent certain. He started to voice the thought, decided that would only piss her off, and was surprised when she answered it anyway.

“I told you because I’m freaked the hell out.” She said it like an admission, head ducking, sheets of blonde hair falling down around her face. “And because…”

“Because what?”

Her voice was just above a whisper. “I saw you…talking to that girl…”

He sat up straight, a prickling of emotion darting across his skin. He thought it was delight, that oh-so-elusive of sentiments. “I’m sorry. What was that? You saw me what?”

She lifted her head and shot him a killing look, blue eyes narrowed in a ferocious, adorable way. “You heard what I said.”

“Nah.” He leaned back and braced his hands in the messy sheets, grinning at her. “I don’t think I did. Think I’m gonna need you to repeat that.”

Her narrow jaw clenched up tight, her lips pressed together.

Colin laughed and sat forward, relieved to have some of the pressure taken off his chest. In his experience, any chance for a little levity should be taken; right now, they were in desperate need of some. “You wanna know what I think?”

“Not especially.”

“I think,” he continued, “that you saw a hot piece of ass getting too close to me, and you went outta your head with jealousy.”

She snorted, face still locked with aggression. “You wish.”

“No, but see, you didn’t get to see the look on your face. Because your face? You were ready to pull some hair andthrow down, lemme tell you.” He could hear his accent thickening and went with it. “You were so damn jealous you couldn’t stand it, baby, admit it.”

“Will you stop being so damn annoying if I admit it?”

“Nah.”

“Then forget it.”

“I kinda wish youhadstarted a fight with her. Her titties were about to fall out of her shirt, and I woulda liked the free show.”

“You asshole,” she said, tone flat, in total contrast with her blazing eyes. “I was jealous, alright? I wasbadjealous, and I kinda still am, so if you keep talking about that slut, I’m gonna go back out there and beat her ass on principle.”

He laughed again, and that sense of high-octane delight went shivering down his arms. “Glad you could admit it.”

She nodded, swallowed, glanced away. She was breathing hard; her pulse pounded in the hollow of her throat. “While we’re admitting stuff…” Her eyes slid back, dark with accusation.

Colin’s belly clenched. He dropped his voice. “I told you I was sorry. Over and over. You know I am.”

“I know.” Her eyes brightened and she blinked against the sudden rush of tears.

Colin wanted to go to her, but knew better now. This had to happen on her terms, at her pace. He had no idea what it was like to be a woman who’d been physically and sexually abused. He had no course of action except to learn from her, step in when he saw openings, and respect her barriers when she put them up.

“I know,” she repeated. “I mean, even then, I knew you weren’t him, and that you were never going to…” She dabbed at her eyes and sniffed hard. “There are these…” She gestured, like she was trying to grab hold of the words. “Trapdoors, in my head.” She frowned, like she didn’t know how else to say it. “And most of the time, everything goes along like normal, but then someone will do or say something, and the trap door opens, and all the old shit comes rushing back, and it’s like it’s happening all over again…”

“I get it.”

Her gaze was brimming with tears, with doubt, with a small hope that maybe he really did. “You do?”

“I don’t get what it’s like to be you,” he amended. “To live through the shit you did. But I understand trapdoors,” he said. “I get how the past sneaks up and bites you in the ass.”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

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