Page 170 of American Hellhound
“Past tense,” Ghost stressed. “And I don’t even like to admit that.”
“Dude, I wouldn’t either.”
It felt good to laugh, a moment of tension relief before shit hit the fan again.
“No,” Ghost said, “I was messed up. Part of that was her, but part of it was…” He shrugged. “I dunno. Coming back from deployment. Being a single dad. The club situation.” It had been instability on top of instability.
“You know how people always talk about being in the Army? About how it shakes ‘em up. Makes ‘em start questioning everything? It traumatizes ‘em. I guess for some people, yeah, it does that. But for me? It was easy. Straightforward, you know.”
“You don’t ever talk about the Army,” Collier said, quietly.
“It wasn’t ‘cause it was bad. It actually made sense. You have your orders, and you have your brothers, and you shoot at who they tell you to shoot at – and itworks. There’s none of this dysfunctional shit like we’ve got here, where no one knows what anyone else is doing. No communication, novision. No leadership.” The last he said with a heavy heart. “I came back, and I expected Duane to be like my CO. He wasn’t. He was just like my worthless old man.”
Something – it had to be a bat – swooped low over their heads, stirring their hair. Ghost smoothed a hand along the crown of his head out of instinct.
“I think hedoeslove you,” Collier ventured. “That’s why he’s so hard on you.”
“Duane loves Duane. He likes to pretend he cares about other people when he wants to manipulate them. I’m done being manipulated,” he said, sending his friend a meaningful look.
It was dark, but there was enough moon to tell that Collier could read his seriousness. “Fair enough,” he said. “I just want to make sure you’ve thought out all the options. And that this isn’t…”
“Isn’t what?”
Collier winced. “Someone else doing the thinking for you.”
“Shit, man.”
“Maggie’s a nice girl–”
“Watch what you say.”
“Hey.” He put both hands up.No offense. “I like her. I get why she’s important to you, okay? I’m just saying–”
“Saying what?”
“You’ve never been ambitious before. Not like this. Come on. You know you didn’t put together that business plan by yourself. And then her dad cosigned the loan? You’re in deep, Ghost. Deep and fast. And love can–”
Ghost hit him in the arm. Hard. “Shut up about Mags. You don’t know shit about her. Do you hear me shit-talking your old lady? Huh? Maggie’s got my back. I don’t have to wonder where her loyalties lie. You, though, I’m starting to wonder about.”
Collier halted. “That’s not fair.”
“Yeah?”
“We’ve been best friends all our lives, and suddenly some chick you’ve known a few months has got you thinking I don’t have your back? What the fuck, Ghost?” He sounded genuinely hurt.
“I think you’ve gotten comfortable,” Ghost fired back. “You’ve got a job outside the club, you’ve got an old lady, a nice house, a new bike. You’re not worried, and you don’t want me to shake things up because it’s risky.”
“What’s wrong with comfortable?”
“Nothing, if you’ve got it. Which I don’t.”
They stared at one another, breathing hard.
“Do you think Duane’s a good president?” Ghost asked.
Collier looked away, up the drive. Swallowed hard, throat jumping. “We should get moving.”
“Answer the question.”
