Page 68 of The Magic of Provence

Fi swallowed hard. ‘Is it like that for you?’

Christophe’s breath came out in a heavy sigh. ‘Yes and no. My trust got broken too. I can beinlove, the sex can beextraordinairebut only for a short time. I can’t stay long enough to get hurt again. I have to escape before there’s any chance of that happening.’

‘I want that…’

She could feel a rumble of stifled laughter inside his chest. ‘To escape?’

‘No…’ Fi caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she tilted her head to look up at him. ‘I want to know what it’s like to have sex like that. I…’ This time, her new breath in was a tiny gasp. ‘I want to know if it’s even possible for me…’

‘I’m sure it will be,’ Christophe said. ‘If you are with someone you trust enough.’

This was it. The chance to take a leap of faith like no other.

‘I trustyou…’

She felt the press of Christophe’s lips against her hair. It wasn’t a kiss, just a soft pressure. The edges of his voice were rough now. ‘Youaresafe with me, Fiona. I promise you.’

It was that thought that undid her.

The thought that Christophe could care enough for her to promise what she needed more than anything else. The reassurance that shecouldtrust him.

She felt safe.

More than that, she felt cared for.

Loved, even.

‘I do want to kiss you,’ Christophe said then. ‘I want to show you that it’s possible for you,cara. If you’ll let me? You can tell me to stop at any time and I promise you I will.’

Fi’s heart missed a beat and then started racing. She had never trusted anyone as much as she trusted this man but a part of her was still terrified. The pain and shock of losing her virginity to rape was a big part of that, but there was something even deeper that was always there and that had come from the chant of shame in her childhood that she didn’t look like her sisters.

‘The chubby one – with the hair like a wire pot scourer, poor bairn.’

And the worst one?

‘…look at yourself in the mirror, Fiona Gilchrist. Who’d want you…?’

Christophe did.

He’d grown up with women who looked very much like her and he adored them, so maybe she didn’t need to feel ashamed of her body. And maybe he was doing this simply out of the kindness of his heart because he could see the walls she’d built around herself, but did that matter?

Even if it could only ever happen this once, Fi wanted it.

This could be the only chance she’d ever have of finding out what it was about sex that could be so amazing. She would understand, then, the undercurrents of a physical bond that Ellie and Julien had with each other. And Laura and Noah. Maybe it was even being found again between her parents. A facet of love that might be a key ingredient she still hadn’t discovered in the magic of being in love.

Aye… she wanted this. More than she had ever wanted anything. And she wanted it beyond anything her head was telling her. This was a need rather than merely a want, and it was coming from her heart and soul, not her head.

Fi could feel the beat of her blood pulsing in her neck as she finally looked up to meet his gaze. His face was so close to hers she could feel the warmth of his skin and the puff of his breath. She felt his forehead touch hers for a steady beat and then the tip of his nose against hers, giving it a tiny rub.

‘I want you to kiss me,’ she whispered.

She didn’t close her lips after the last word left them and his lips were so close to hers she could feel them tingling with the touch that was like a butterfly’s wing as he moved his lips across hers. The way he let the air out of his chest was a sigh that sounded like pure pleasure. He was savouring this. He wanted it to last. He was enjoying being so patient.

Fi could feel the sigh reverberating in her own body. She was relaxing. Sinking into this space that had just become their own private world. Okay, there might be a large dog and a tiny donkey in the corner of the room but they were both sound asleep. It was just her and Christophe.

And she was safe.

Fi pressed her mouth closer to his and let her tongue emerge far enough to taste his bottom lip. Could he feel the ripple of sensation that made a tiny shudder skate down her spine?

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