Page 46 of The Sword and the Damsel

Alais sat with wide eyes and a hand over her mouth, unable to believe what she was hearing. Victor was doubled over with laughter. It was an admirable performance, right down to the ridiculous falsetto Richard used for the sisters. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but this was certainly far beyond anything she’d ever imagined.

“And that, my dear wife, is the song about the cat. Are you satisfied at long last?” Victor was still heaving with laughter.

“What diabolical mind would compose such a thing?” she demanded. Surely this went beyond the usual troubadour excess.

“The queen’s grandfather, Guillaume IX, Duke of Aquitaine, if you can believe it,” Richard announced in a bored voice. “But, Victor, you said you had something new and filthy for me?”

“Oh yes,” said Victor, borrowing Richard’s lute. “It goes like this…”

Chapter Seventeen

It was mid-afternoonwhen Victor led Alais through the village of Guestling to the round, crenelated stone tower that dominated it. For the first time in a long time, he was looking forward to coming home.

“I still can’t believe Daniel composed that,” Alais said for the third time since they left Richard and the inn. “Does Carenza know?”

“I couldn’t begin to guess.” The truth was he strongly suspected she did, but he wasn’t about to admit he’d given the matter any thought. “Oh, and that song I sang in front of your suitors? The word was supposed to be ‘cunt’, not ‘queen’.”

“’That these things three things do not please me: a cunt under guard, a pond without fish…’ I see now why they didn’t want you singing it. It was quite clever of you to change the word. It all sounded quite innocent to me.”

Victor smiled. “Yes, and I am destroying your innocence quite thoroughly now, aren’t I? Although I’ve always thought it hypocritical that men aren’t expected to remain innocent, but women are. And really the word ‘innocence’ is disingenuous. What they really mean is ignorance. Now that you’re my wife and not my charge, I’m going to take great delight in ruining you with forbidden knowledge.”

She laughed. “You sound like my brother, may he rest in peace. He always encouraged us to read and explore and dothings we weren’t supposed to. Like ride his destrier, Valor, when I was only ten. Valor was even bigger than Socorro.”

“He wasn’t worried you’d get hurt?”

She shook her head. “He trusted me to know my own capabilities. I was good with horses, always had been. And still am. He reminded me of the risks, said he thought I could handle it, and let me make my own decision. It turned out Valor loved me.”

Victor laughed. “Everyone loves you, man and beast.”

She chuckled and shook her head. “Tell that to Carenza.”

“Carenza is neither man nor beast. Oh, and speaking of Carenza, please don’t tell her or Daniel that I sang that song about a peach in front of you.”

Victor was feeling pleased with how the day had gone so far. It was risky, introducing her to Richard, but oh, had it paid off! The look on her face after the cat song was priceless. And she even complimented his own lackluster singing and mediocre lute skills when he sang the song by Daniel, though Victor was a bit worried he’d made a mistake there. Daniel almost certainly didn’t want that song getting back to his sister-in-law.

“I’ll never look at a peach the same way again,” Alais said with the same expression of scandalized fascination she’d worn since the cat song. “Oh my goodness,Carenza’speach…”

“Best not to think about it too hard.”

“You are surely going to hell. Daniel too.”

“Oh, without a doubt.”

At that moment, a familiar form emerged from the castle gate and began ambling their way. “Brace yourself. Here comes my father.”

A tall, hairy man with an ample belly and skinny legs started bellowing his name. He had described his father to Alais as a fat goat, but now that he was staring at the man, Victor thought he was more like a once-proud lion gone to seed. His blond hair andbeard were unkempt and streaked with white. His face had the permanent flush of someone always in their cups. His father had never had the healthiest of habits.

“Good God, Victor, can it possibly be you? I’d given up on ever seeing you again. It’s been months since you visited. And who is this beauty you bring with you—a de Vere by the looks of her unless I’m very much mistaken.”

Victor dismounted, and let his father embrace him and thump his back hard enough to make him wheeze momentarily. “Father, let me introduce my wife, Lady Alais, daughter of Lord and Lady de Vere.”

He enjoyed watching his father’s expression at the word “wife.” It was all he’d hoped. His father stood speechless for several moments, blustering and spluttering, turning redder by the second.

“Wife?” he roared as the words sank in. “Are you telling me my only child went off and got married and didn’t invite me?!Who raised you?”

“I’m sorry, Father. It all happened rather suddenly, just yesterday in fact. I came as soon as I could manage.” Truth be told, he was relieved that it had happened too fast for his father to attend. He loved his father, but he was hardly fit for polite company these days. He’d gone feral, living alone in the castle with only the servants for company.

His father gave Victor and Alais a sharp look. “Sudden, eh?” Then he burst out laughing. “By God, your mother and I got married suddenly too. Sometimes you can’t help yourself. She is a pretty little thing, isn’t she? I can’t say I blame you.” He swept into as gallant a bow as his portly shape would allow. “I am Lord Giles. It is an honor to welcome you to Guestling, my lady. I see you have your father’s eyes and your mother’s loveliness.”

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