‘We’re so sorry that you overheard us talking about you like that.’ Cat does seem genuinely gutted. ‘I imagine that wouldn’t have been nice to hear.’
I glance from her to Amber, then avert my gaze, unable to trust myself to keep it together.
‘It wasn’t. I thought you guys believed in me, but you don’t at all.’
‘That’s not true,’ says Cat. ‘Weabsolutelybelieve in you. There’s no doubt you’re heading in that direction with your career—’
‘But only if I fix myself. Because the truth is: I’m a flake who’s not up to it, right?’
‘Wrong.’ My bestie shakes her head. ‘We don’t think that at all. That label was used by someone who knows nothing about you, or what you’re capable of. It came from a thoughtless—’
‘Arsehole.’ Amber finishes Cat’s sentence for her.
‘You might not have used the label, but you clearly don’t think I’m up to tomorrow – or that I have any chance at that job. And neither does James. You even formed a bloody committee to rule on it.’ I swallow thickly, still fighting to keep my composure.
‘It wasn’t quite like that, but in hindsight, I can understand how it felt that way,’ says Cat. ‘We had some concerns, especially after what happened at the beach, but as long as you’re feeling up to going ahead with the interview, we’re behind you and we believe you can do it, right Amber?’
‘Yeah.’ Amber nods. ‘We do.’
‘Thanks, but that’s kind of hard to believe, given I heard you all discussing how I read my presentation like a script and I can’t cope with a Q&A session.’ I wring my hands anxiously. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter because you didn’t say anything that wasn’t already running through my head. I was kidding myself going for that job and the three of you helped me realise that. I’ve called off the interview.’
‘You’ve called it off?’ Amber shares a pained and somewhat regretful look with Cat.
‘Yes. I asked Charnice to pass on the message, so Sébastien will know by now.’
‘Oh, honey.’ Cat joins me on the bed, enveloping me in a hug, which I give in to instantly. ‘We’re so sorry. We never wanted to ruin your big opportunity – or destroy your confidence.’
‘It’s fine. It’s for the best.’ I give a half-smile. ‘Let’s just try and salvage what’s left of our holiday, yeah? Have the R&R I came here for in the first place.’
‘And James?’ asks Amber.
I chew on my lip. ‘I don’t know. He’s amazing but I’m now questioning whether I’ve jumped into that too soon as well. I’m not sure if I’m ready for another relationship yet. Plus, do I really want a guy in my life who doesn’t think I’m enough? He should like me for who I am, right?’
‘Emma, I think James…’ Amber starts, then trails off as she meets Cat’s eye.
‘You don’t need to think about that right now,’ says Cat. ‘But it is dinner time. Do you feel up to going for some food?’
‘If it’s OK with you guys, I think I’ll just get some room service and an early night. I’m exhausted.’
Cat seems reluctant to leave me, but she respects my decision. ‘OK, sure, honey. We’ll probably take the opportunity for a quiet one as well, right Amber?’
Amber nods, quite unconvincingly, which makes me thinkshe’ll be out partying with Tyler, Rob and James until the small hours.
‘If you need anything, message us,’ she says.’
‘I will, thanks… Oh, would you…’ I cringe a little.
‘We’ll tell James we’ve found you and that you need some space,’ says Cat.
‘Thanks.’
I don’t like asking them to do my dirty work for me, but I can’t face James this evening after everything that’s happened.
After seeing my friends out, I pull the curtains, climb back into bed and settle down for the night. All I want to do is to sleep. Missing one meal when I’ve been eating like a pig for the last few days will hardly be the end of me.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Isleep right through the night, and having gone to bed so early, I also waken very early – I know this because there isn’t a hint of light peeking through the curtains. Rubbing my eyes drowsily, I reach for my phone on my bedside table, before remembering that it’s still in my beach bag from the day before. I throw back the covers, pad across to retrieve it, and on illuminating the screen, I see that it’s awash with new message notifications. Mostly from when Cat and Amber were looking for me, but there are also a couple from James and one from my mum offering me yet more unsolicited advice on staying safe abroad.