Page 84 of Another Lucky Number

‘Probably best we get you out of this heat,’ says Cat.

‘Do you feel up to walking?’ Amber asks me.

‘Maybe we could get one of those golf cart things to come and get her,’ suggests Cat.

‘No way.’ I hold up two hands to halt them from taking that idea any further. ‘Ido notwant Sébastien hearing about this. I’ll be fine to walk. The water has helped.’

‘OK, honey.’ Cat resumes stroking my hair protectively. ‘As long as you’re sure.’

‘I’m sure. Let’s go. I can’t take any more people staring at me.’

‘Nobody’s staring at you.’

‘They are. Trust me.’

Cat and Amber are braced to swoop in and rescue me while I get to my feet, but I wave them away. If I couldn’t end my presentation with dignity, I can at least try to leave the beach with some. They flank me on either side while we trudge across the sand towards the pathway that leads to our suites, passing some people I recognise from my ‘audience’ as we go. A few of them offer sympathetic nods and comments of ‘take care.’

I’m almost at the walkway and feeling like I’ve redeemed myself slightly by not being carried off the beach, when a young couple pass us.

‘That’s her.’ I hear the man mutter under his breath to his partner. ‘What a flake. No way I’d hire her.’

His partner scoffs by way of a response, and I stiffen,their cruelty rattling through me like a pinball, reinforcing the self-doubt that’s been tearing through my mind.

‘Ignore them.’ Cat threads her arm through mine. ‘That comment says a lot more about him than it does about you.’

‘Arseholes,’ Amber mutters. ‘I should go after them and show them what’s what.’

‘Please don’t,’ I say. ‘I don’t need any more drama today – particularly not you getting arrested.’

We walk the rest of the way back in silence, the mood more muted than it’s been all holiday. Cat convinces me to go to her suite so she can keep an eye on me, and I reluctantly agree because I don’t want to worry her, but all I really want is to be left alone.

I lie out on her bed while she and Amber try to get some more upbeat conversation flowing, but it falls flat. This leaves me certain that what’s going through my friends’ heads is the same as what’s going through mine: is this interview such a good idea after all?

Before long, my exhausted mind can no longer cope with juggling my worrisome thoughts. I feel my eyelids drooping and I’m drifting off to sleep.

Sometime later, I wake with a pounding head to an empty room. At first, I wonder if Cat and Amber have gone out to avoid disturbing me, but then I hear faint voices outside on Cat’s balcony terrace. Getting up, I walk across to the patio doors, which they’ve left open a crack – probably so they can check on me without waking me – and I’m about to step outside to join them, when I hear a male voice: James. He’s out there with them, which means they’ve told him what happened and he’s seen me out for the count. I smart a little at this.Should it not have been up to me to tell him what happened? If I even wanted him to know.

In my hesitation, I pick up the thread of their conversation.

‘I think it’s all been too much.’ I hear Cat say. ‘She’s been through a lot in the last month. Maybe we shouldn’t have encouraged her to go for the job.’

‘You might be right,’ says Amber. ‘She didn’t cope well at all with the practice Q&A session on the beach. I’m now thinking that’s why she passed out, not because of the heat. She did better on the presentation itself, but she was literally reading it like a script, same as at breakfast. I didn’t say anything earlier because I had hoped I’d see something more dynamic this afternoon and that I could offer her some helpful feedback then.’

‘I tried to talk to her about that,’ says James. ‘Don’t think she was in the place to hear it, but who can blame her? The interview’s tomorrow.’

I feel a stab of hurt as they continue to talk about me like I’m a lame pet.

‘This is a big job,’ says Amber. ‘I’ve no doubt she’s got the potential to do it in the longer term, but it might be too soon. I haven’t had the chance to work with her on her confidence and her other weaker areas yet.’

‘I’m also a bit worried about who might be at that presentation tomorrow,’ says Cat. ‘If that horrible bloke who’s had a go at her twice already is there, he could tear into her again. I really don’t want that to happen.’

‘What guy?’ James asks. ‘Emma never mentioned him. He shouldn’t be getting away with that.’

Tears brim in my eyes. They really have no confidence in me. Would they be this forthright to my face? Maybe Amber would, but Cat and James? It all feels underhand them gathering like this to discuss me.

For a moment, I consider going out there and confrontingthem, but I just don’t have it in me. Instead, I quietly gather my stuff together and slip out of Cat’s suite, accidentally slamming the door behind me.

Cursing myself for that error, I rush along the corridor, removing my sandals as I go, so I can get away faster. The last thing I want is them catching up with me. Aware that my suite is the first place they’ll look, I scurry past reception and out the front entrance of the main resort building. The lush tropical gardens that frame the long driveway from the main road are plentiful, so I can easily stay out of sight here. With my sandals dangling by my side, I miserably make my way along one of the meandering paths, barely noticing the vibrant flowers and plants or the towering exotic trees.

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