Page 71 of Just Like That
‘Shame that they’ve missed the sessions. I guess I could always—’
‘Rana’s had a lot of excitement today.’ I shut him down quickly. ‘She’s probably needing a bit of peace to forage and stuff.’
‘I guess you’re probably right.’
Exhaling heavily, I’m relieved at having escaped a potentially tricky situation, but at the same time I feel wretched about manipulating things the way I did. That’s not at all who I am, but I can’t risk bringing the men in my life together. Not yet. Things are already a little shaky with Nick thinking I’m not that into us as a couple. The last thing our fledgling relationship needs is him finding out I can’t commit to him in the way he’s hoping. I just need a bit more time to see if that scenario will change – then I’ll face into things and accept the outcome, whatever that may be.
The event comes to a close at 4:30 p.m., though many of our supporters have left of their own accord quite a bit before that. This seems to include Seth, Jackson and Alison, whom I thankfully haven’t bumped into again. With things well under control, Gwen, Nick, Lauren and I are able to disappear into the office to tot up the make-or-break calculations, while the rest of the park team members see people out and begin the clear up.
‘OK…’ Gwen pores over the figures on the spreadsheet in front of her. ‘With the event admission sales, food and drink revenue and paid activities we’re nearly halfway to our target. Lauren, what did we make through the sponsorship scheme?’
Lauren finishes tapping at the calculator she’s holding and holds it up to Gwen. ‘That’s the total for the initial pledges, paid today. It includes some one-off donations that some people preferred to make instead of setting up a monthly direct debit.’
‘OK, thanks. Jess, how have we done on the FundedCauses page?’
‘It’s gone really well through being shared on social media, though the donations have slowed up a lot in the last couple of hours.’ I bring up the page on my phone and hold my screen out to Gwen so she can jot the number down on the notepad she’s using.
‘Thanks. I doubt we’ll get much more from that now the event is over, so let’s call that a final figure and see where it leaves us.’ Gwen plugs the numbers into her spreadsheet and sits back with a loaded sigh.
‘What is it, Mum?’ Lauren peers over her shoulder. ‘Is that a good sigh or a bad sigh?’
Nick and I share a nervous look.
‘It’s a bit of both,’ says Gwen. ‘Factoring in the cost of the new signage for the park, we’re about a thousand shy of the sum we need to plug the gap until the revenue from our events and the boosted animal sponsorship scheme becomes steady – provided that happens.’
‘We can find a thousand quid between us, surely,’ I say. ‘I’ll donate two hundred straight off the bat.’
‘Me too,’ Nick and Lauren say in unison.
‘There you are.’ I watch Gwen in earnest. ‘That leaves a hole of only four hundred pounds. We’ll make that. We might even get it through the FundedCauses page.’
‘That’s very generous of you.’ Gwen offers each of us a melancholic smile in turn. ‘And of course, I will do the same. But where this leaves us is not much of an improvement on limping from one month to the next. Even with the events you’ve set us up with, Jess. I had already accepted this reality but I guess I’d hoped that, from all the publicity in the run-up to today, there might be one or two very generous donors in the mix.’
Nick and I share another look, and it’s clear we’re thinking the same thing: the odds of that happening were so slim. Seeing Gwen looking so defeated makes my insides twist.
‘Gwen, what are you saying?’ Nick sits forward apprehensively.
‘I don’t know…’ Gwen gets up out of her seat, then sits back down as she realises she’s about to start pacing, glancing at me guiltily.
‘I only suggested you don’t do that during your speeches. Knock yourself out.’ I gesture for her to continue.
‘Thanks. It helps me think, you see.’
We watch Gwen silently pacing back and forth thoughtfully, head down, focused but troubled. The room feels tense while we respect her need for mental space and wait for her to reach a conclusion.
‘Yes, all right,’ she says to herself out loud after her period of deliberation.
Nick, Lauren and I almost suck the air out of the room through a collective intake of breath. Seeing Nick’s face, I reach under the table and take his hand, and to my surprise he squeezes it tight, letting me know how vulnerable he feels right now.
‘What have you decided, Gwen?’ I ask.
She sits back down and regards us solemnly. ‘I’m afraid I’ve decided it’s for the best that we close the park – and that we do it now. We can use the funds raised to make sure the animals that we are able to rehome are well looked after in their transition period.’
‘You’re saying there are some animals that won’t be rehomed…’ I balk, suddenly feeling a bit sick.
‘Yes, unfortunately. My hope is that it will only be the ones that are at the end of their natural lives though.’
I don’t feel any better hearing this.
