Page 42 of Just Like That

‘I’d hardly call it a rule. It’s more the premise of the activity which, by the way, you suggested – that we “take it in turns to ask questions”.’

‘And now you’ve squeezed all of the fun out of it by explaining that.’ I sigh, then sit back and gaze across at the beautiful bright pink flamingos who are bunched together in a flock in their enclosure.

‘Why do you have such an issue with me calling things as they are?’ Nick’s eyebrows knit together in a frown.

‘I don’t.’

His frown deepens.

‘OK, maybe I do.’ I pick at a bit of fluff on my top to avoid having to look at him. ‘I guess it’s because it always feels like you’re trying to one up me and make me look stupid.’

‘So, you think I’m a bad guy?’

‘What? No.’

‘That’s what it sounds like. If I were doing what you’ve described, that would make me a bit of a tosser, don’t you think?’

‘I suppose.’ I shrug. ‘So I’m going to take a guess that you’re not doing that? Because at other points you’re quite nice.’

‘Thanks. I think.’ He gives a short chuckle.

‘You’re welcome. But it doesn’t really help me understand what is going on. Why we keep butting heads like this.’

Nick rubs the days-old stubble on his chin. ‘Have you ever considered that maybe I just don’t see the world in the same way as you do? Maybe I focus on things that you don’t, and if I think something to be relevant or important, I point it out.’

‘It sounds simple and plausible enough, I suppose. It’s just that it feels a bit crap in the moment.’ I wrinkle my nose as I say this.

‘Then how about you focus less on how it feels and more on trying to understand where I’m coming from?’

‘Gosh.’ I finally shift my gaze to Nick and to my surprise he holds it, obviously keen to get his point across. ‘I guess that’s me schooled.’

‘I didn’t intend for it to feel that way.’ He seems genuinely disappointed by this. ‘I was simply making a suggestion. Why don’t you give me something back and then we’re equal?’

‘Ooh, don’t tempt me.’ I throw him a wicked grin.

‘I’m serious. Give me something I can work with.’

‘OK…’ I sip at my drink thoughtfully, trying to put together the thing I most want to say to him in the most diplomatic way I can come up with. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but you come across as a bit of a grumpy grouch.’

‘A grumpy grouch?’ He repeats this back to me with his eyebrows raised.

Feeling like I’ve gone too far, I brace myself for what I consider to be an inevitable backlash, but it doesn’t come.

‘I guess I’ve heard different versions of that over the last few years,’ he says, after chewing on my comment for several seconds. ‘But yours is by far the mostSesame Streetof them.’

‘Sesame Street?’ I snigger at this.

‘Yes. Your description makes me think of Oscar the Grouch.’

‘Oh yeah, I see how you got there.’

‘I don’t mean to be a “grumpy grouch” or a “honey badger” as Lauren has described me on occasion. Honey badgers have the reputation of being the world’s most bad-tempered animal in case you didn’t know.’ He looks a bit pained by this label. ‘I’ve had my fill of being let down by people in my life and I guess it’s sucked the joy out of me or something. That’s why I prefer to spend my time with the animals. They’re way less complicated than people and they can’t lie to you.’

I feel a pang of sympathy for Nick alongside a touch of sadness that he has so little faith in the human race. I can also understand where he’s coming from to some extent, because I feel continually let down by my parents, but at least I have Seth. If Nick has a void and hasn’t got anyone to fill it – and worse, the person who previously filled it hurt him – then that must be a very lonely place in life.

As I consider all this, an unpleasant thought creeps into my mind: if Seth hadn’t made it through, or if he were to have another stroke and die, I would be alone. Sure, I have Amelia and other friends dotted around the country, but it would never be the same. That void would be a huge gaping chasm. I shudder at this thought.

‘Are you all right?’ Nick’s face turns to one of concern. ‘You look troubled.’

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