Page 86 of Just Like That

The receptionist glances across at us curiously and I haul Shane out of earshot.

‘Firstly, I wouldn’t have been in that state if it weren’t for you. You were the one who suggested going out, remember?’

He shrugs in acceptance of this, so I continue.

‘And secondly, do you make a habit of taking insanely drunk women back to their rooms and sleeping with them, because I’m pretty sure that’s—’

‘Whoa, slow down, would you?’ He seems completely blindsided. ‘I didn’t touch you, other than to help you get back and into bed. You spent the whole night going on about some bloke called Nick and another called Seth. I mean, I like a bit of adventure, but I’m not into that polyamorous stuff.’

‘Seth is my brother, you dolt.’ I play-thwack him on the arm. ‘So, wait, are you telling me nothing happened between us? Like, absolutely nothing?’

‘That’s exactly what I’m telling you. You’d left your key card in your room, so the night porter let us in and hung around at the door – don’t think he trusted me, given the mess you were in. I got you some water, then I put you to bed – fully clothed – and went back to my room. If you woke up naked or something, that’s not on me.’

‘For real?’ I pin him with a look that says ‘don’t bullshit me’. ‘You’re telling me the God’s honest truth?’

‘Yeah, serious. We can ask to speak to the night porter if you want proof. You were in no fit state for anything.’

‘Oh, thank goodness.’ I clasp my hands together and raise my eyes to the ceiling. ‘Sorry, no offence.’

‘None taken. So, about that drink?’

‘Definitely not.’

‘Was worth a try.’ He pulls a cheeky face. ‘Your man Nick’s a lucky bloke.’

‘He would be if we were still together.’ I look away from him, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

‘Ah shit, I’m sorry Jess.’ Shane pats my shoulder sympathetically and wanders off.

Hitting the lift button again, his words reverberate round my head like a pinball, a jumble of feelings, thoughts and excuses all bouncing around, making it impossible for me to get a sense of anything. Then suddenly I jolt with clarity. Shunning the open doors of the lift for a second time, I turn around and march straight back out of the hotel to try to fix what I’ve broken.

Chapter 42

The next day after work, I head back to my flat via the hotel, who kindly stored my luggage for me, saving me the embarrassment of taking it to the office and facing questions from my colleagues. Jackson hasn’t exactly given the all clear, but he can’t hold the fort any longer due to personal commitments, and I can’t reasonably expect him to either. It’s time to face into things with Seth. Plus, I have an ace up my sleeve I’m hoping will tip the balance in my favour.

‘I’ll leave you both to it.’ Jackson mouths ‘good luck’ to me as he heads out of the living room for the front door.

Sitting down on the sofa next to Seth, I can still feel the hurt and resentment radiating off of him, which is not a great sign.

‘Hi, big bro.’ I smile gingerly and take his hand in mine.

‘Hi.’ He doesn’t pull it away, but he also doesn’t look at me.

‘I know you’re still angry at me and I completely understand why. I did a bad thing. I was seeing you in a way that wasn’t right – partly out of feeling so protective towards you, but that’s not really an excuse. You’re still the same person you were before, and you absolutely deserve to have the love of a hot woman in your life.’

The corners of Seth’s mouth twitch at this, igniting a tiny spark of hope within me.

‘I was focusing on the wrong things, thinking I was doing what was best for you. I was also hiding the fact I was struggling with my job, because I didn’t want you to have to shoulder any more than you already were.’

On hearing this, he looks at me for the first time. ‘What’s been… going on with… your job?’

His slow and deliberate pronunciation of each word fuels my reluctance to voice my own problems. There are so many constant reminders of his vulnerability. But if I want my close relationship with my brother back, I know I need to bury my protective instincts and show him that I see him as an equal. Which I absolutely do – I’ve just gotten a bit lost along the way.

I fill him in on what’s been going on, including the situation with Nick. I also make sure Seth knows he’ll be my only priority from now on. He listens attentively, not once interrupting my flow. Then, when I’ve told him every last thing, he cocks his head in an appraising way.

‘OK, first thing… Craig’s a dick. He’s always been a dick… but at least… you were getting something… out of working with him. You need a new job… I will help you with that. I have way too much… time on my hands… so I will do some… online research for you. I’ll find some companies… who support flexible working… that you can reach out to. I’ll also help you… with your app-lications.’

The unbearable load of feeling like I’ve lost the most important person in my world begins to shed as Seth talks. Now I’m the one staying quiet, allowing him to take the lead and reassume his role as my biggest supporter – as I am for him.

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