Page 34 of Just Like That

‘Thanks. We’ll also need to do a test run before the first event, so see if you can gather some people together for that.’

We finish up our meeting, and on stepping out into the fresh air, I realise how mentally and physically drained I am. All this business with Craig treating me so unfairly, being constantly on the go looking after Seth and my regular run-ins with Nick is really taking its toll. Deciding I need a short time-out, I head along one of the paths into the park, hoping that surrounding myself with its wonderful animals will give me the energy boost I need. I wander aimlessly for a bit, passing no more than a handful of visitors, which in itself makes it clear why things are so difficult financially for Gwen and her team. However, I keep this concern and other nagging thoughts at bay by enjoying the jungle-esque sights and sounds all around me. It’s kind of a peaceful vibrancy, which perhaps makes little sense on paper, but it does give me a lift.

Before I realise what I’m doing, I’ve gravitated towards Rana’s enclosure, where I find the sun bear cub snuffling around a piece of dead tree trunk, her long tongue probing the crevices, perhaps seeking out insects. She’s so mesmerising, I settle down on the bench in front of her and just watch. Although she’s already grown a bit in the couple of weeks since Nick brought her outside, she’s still pretty tiny and I find myself desperate for a cuddle – though I know it would be less of a snuggle and more like the animal world’s version of WWE.

Just as I’m starting to feel like I can face getting back to work, a noise behind me breaks through my musings. Shifting round on the spot, I see Nick walking in my direction carrying a bucket and a brush.Great.The last thing I need is to have to go into fighter mode when I’m already operating on my reserves. Sitting up stiffly, I brace myself for another conflict.

Chapter 16

My pulse quickens as Nick approaches – and not in a good way, but instead of continuing our earlier altercation, he just nods and greets me with a gruff ‘all right?’. Then he passes me and heads straight for Rana’s enclosure. Relieved that there’s not going to be any immediate interaction with him, I relax a little and continue watching Rana lollop around. She seems quite content for a baby who’s lost her mother, and while I don’t necessarily want to acknowledge it right now, I know that has a lot to do with Nick. From what I hear, he’s spent every available minute making sure that she’s comfortable and coping with the change of environment.

Nick puts down the brush he’s carrying before going into the enclosure, piquing Rana’s interest. Her furry little head shoots up, then as he enters her space, she bounds across to inspect him and see what he’s got for her. He has quite a job keeping her head out of the bucket he’s carrying. It’s entertaining to watch, but as we’re not really on speaking terms, I try not to let my amusement show.

Nick feeds Rana some berries, which she gulps down with fervour, pawing at him and seeking more each time she’s finished. Then once the food is gone, Rana appears to decide it’s playtime and boisterously clambers over Nick, tussling with him as if he’s a fellow bear. Having not seen the two of them in action together since that first day when he brought her out to the enclosure – though I have visited Rana several times alone since – I can see a real bond has developed between them. Nick has become Rana’s surrogate parent and she’s become fearless around him, which is as hilarious as it is adorable. She’s like a battery-operated toy in turbo mode. A repetitive cycle emerges, which involves Nick assertively but gently picking her off him, playfully throwing her in a way that allows her to land expertly, then she immediately goes back for more. It’s clear that it’s a game to her and she can’t get enough.

Watching the two of them is like a happiness drug. In the same way that Rana can’t get enough of horsing around with Nick, I can’t seem to get enough of watching them. I laugh and gasp at the more edgy interactions between them, feeling the previous tension in my shoulders dissipate. Then without thinking, I get up off the bench and move closer to the enclosure to get a better look.

‘Do you want to come in?’ Nick calls across, breaking my trance-like state.

‘Oh… I, um…’ I trail off, unsure how to respond to this, given the verbal bashing I gave him in the car park.

‘She’s a lot more confident now, as you can see. I can give you some gloves to protect your hands from her claws. She’d never do you any harm at this age, but she can get a little overexcited.’

Mulling this over, I decide that if Nick isn’t holding a grudge over earlier, then perhaps I can let it go for now too. But with this repetitive pattern emerging between us, I’m going to have to do something to address this issue between us.

‘OK, why not.’

He does a fine job of multitasking, continuing to manage Rana while reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pair of gloves, which he hands to me when I join him. Crouching down next to him, I smile and giggle nervously as Rana’s focus shifts from Nick to me. I’m not worried she’ll harm me, more that I won’t be able to handle her version of play, which is very much rough and tumble. She pads across to me, a little tentatively at first, then she licks at my gloves with her long tongue, which I’m assuming is her way of getting a measure of me. Then, having obviously decided I’m no major threat, she tentatively clambers up my right side and onto my shoulders to scope the rest of me out.

‘You’re fine,’ Nick says, as I continue to laugh nervously. ‘She seems to like you.’

‘Probably because I’m wearing your gloves. I’m like Nick Mark Two to her.’

‘Perhaps. The scent might help.’

Rana continues to investigate me, snuffling away and licking at my clothes, then she takes a mini leap from me to Nick and sort of hangs off the side of him. He grabs her and gently chucks her to the ground and the game starts all over again – but this time with both of us. It takes a bit of getting used to, and just like the first interaction I had with Rana, Nick coaches me through it, encouraging me and making sure I’m comfortable with her. He even, at times, places a reassuring hand on my arm or guides my motions, showing me how to handle Rana in a confident and unthreatening way. This touch and the closeness of his face to mine, along with the subtle but alluring scent of his eau de toilette, stirs up something animalistic in me like it did previously. His behaviour is such a departure from our other interactions that I can’t help wondering – once again – why he’s so nice one minute, and then acts like a total dick the next. It’s frustrating and confusing – especially because of how attractive I find him when he’s like this.

After a short while, we leave Rana alone in her enclosure, but not before Nick’s smeared honey on her log while I keep her distracted. Apparently, it’s a technique used with young sun bears in captivity to help them learn how to forage for food with their tongues. I tell him that Rana must be learning well, because that’s what I saw her doing when I first arrived and he seems pleased by this progress report.

Once outside, and without a cute bear cub to focus our attention on, things become more strained between us. While he’s not mentioned it, he’s obviously not forgotten about the incident in the car park either. We stand in silence for a few moments, then we both rush to speak at once.

‘About earlier—’

‘I didn’t mean to—’

We both stop short and chuckle awkwardly.

‘You go.’ I gesture for him to continue.

He nods in appreciative acknowledgement of this. ‘I was just going to say that I didn’t mean to upset you earlier, Jess. That really wasn’t my intention. It was meant to be a joke.’

‘I know.’ I aim my shamefaced expression at the ground. ‘I’d had a bad morning and it wasn’t fair of me to take it out on you. Though you should maybe work on your delivery of humour.’ I look up at him with a wince, unsure how he’ll take this.

‘Not the first time I’ve heard that.’ He seems a bit resigned. ‘I won’t be auditioning for a stand-up role any time soon. It could start a riot.’

I let out a cackle of a laugh. ‘Now, see, that is funny.’

Instead of laughing with me, Nick looks a bit perplexed. ‘That wasn’t meant to be a joke.’

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