Page 9 of One Night in Edinburgh

He smiles at me. ‘A perfect summary. Although you missed the excellent company. Is it just the two of you?’

‘For now.’

‘Does that mean there are two bruiser boyfriends due any minute with bratwursts, beer and a penchant for beating up blokes who chat to their women?’ he jokes.

‘No…’ I narrow my eyes at him, trying to work out where I’m at.

‘Is that “no, there are no boyfriends”, or “no, our boyfriends have evolved past that kind of caveman behaviour, you weirdo”?’

‘Oh, sorry,’ I laugh. ‘The former is probably more accurate.’

‘Probably?’

‘We’re both single,’ Anna interjects, then makes a pained face, mouthing ‘sorry’ to me as I visibly recoil.

I hadn’t reached the stage of facing my new relationship ‘status’ yet and this realisation hits me like a train. I’m single, for the first time in more than a decade.

‘Right, brill.’ The man, completely unaware of my inner turmoil, looks pleased by this confirmation. ‘I’m Jamie.’

‘Anna.’ She holds out a hand for him to kiss, which he does.

‘I’m Steph.’ I give him a weak wave, even though he’s standing about three feet away from me.

‘Well, Anna and Steph, it’s great to meet you. Strange that two women as beautiful as you aren’t attached, but all the better for me.’ He gives us a sly nod.

‘Oh yeah?’ says Anna. ‘And what makes you think—’ She comes to a halt on seeing my face, which from the way I’m feeling, must be somewhere between grey and green. ‘Um… actually, Jamie, we need to head on. Sorry, mate.’

Without warning, Anna bundles me off around the corner, leaving a bewildered Jamie standing alone with our abandonedkirschweins. She practically strongarms me into the ladies’ toilets, which are housed in a large portacabin that creaks and shakes as we enter it. Then she turns me towards her and scrutinises my face.

‘You OK, hon? You looked like you were going to throw up, so I thought it best to bring you here.’

‘I genuinely thought I was.’ I grab the edge of the sink to steady myself. ‘Although, I can’t think of anything worse than spewing my load in here.’ I screw up my nose as the smell of stale urine floats around my nostrils. ‘And I probably will if we stay much longer.’

‘Balls. Let’s get you out of here then.’ Anna manhandles me back out of the portacabin, causing me to trip on the steps as we exit, and then more or less drags me across to the other side of the walkway. ‘That better?’

‘Sort of. But I’m starting to feel a bit like a carthorse with vertigo,’ I laugh weakly.

‘Sorry.’ Anna makes a cringey face. ‘I’m worried about you, that’s all.’

‘I get that. When that guy started fishing to find out if we were single and you…’ I trail off, unable to complete my sentence.

‘I know.’ She rubs my arm protectively. ‘I’m sorry. I should have been more tactful. Unfortunately, on a night like this, when everyone’s high on the excitement and boozed up, they’re going to be more forward than they might usually be – which is unfortunate given your current predicament.’

‘It wasn’t your fault – or even his. He didn’t know.’

‘No, of course not. But if we went back to yours—’

‘We’re not going back to mine.’ My tone is firm. ‘I’d rather spend the whole night on the brink of chundering, than sit in my apartment watching all this on TV, kicking myself for not being part of it, and simultaneously mourning the loss of the boyfriend who never truly was.’

‘OK, fine.’ She holds up her hands in defeat. ‘But maybe we should give men a wide berth for the night. How about that?’

‘Works for me.’ I smile at my friend, who suddenly looks thoughtful. ‘What’s going on in that head of yours, Anna?’

‘Nothing really…’ She’s clearly weighing up whether to share what’s on her mind. ‘I was thinking… it’s a shame that Connor didn’t drop this bombshell a couple of weeks earlier.’

‘What? So I could have a miserable Christmas as well as Hogmanay?’

‘No.Definitely not! I just meant that you would’ve been a bit further along by now. Because that Jamie guy wash-o-t. And he was totally into you.’

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