Page 68 of One Night in Edinburgh

‘This gets better and better.’ Anna’s face had become incredulous. ‘Steph, are you not even the slightest bit suspicious about these things? Is there not even an ounce of doubt in that lovely, but slightly naive head of yours?’

I had stood my ground. ‘No. I trust Jamie. These are all insignificant details. It’s who he is when he’s with me that counts. He’s just met my family for goodness’ sake, and he’s going to play golf with my dad. I know he’s looking for this to be long term, and I have no real reason to doubt him.’

That was then, and little has changed in our dialogue since.

‘Seriously, Steph.’ Anna absently twirls the pen she’s holding in her hand. ‘You need to ask him what’s going on. You’ve been seeing each other for just over a month now, and if it’s getting serious as you say, then you have a right to ask why things are the way they are. Why is he only available to you at weekends?’

Deep down, I know Anna’s right. Since visiting Mrs Carmichael, it has been niggling at me why I still don’t know some of the most basic information about Jamie, and I now feel like I can’t ask, but why am I having to wait right through the working week to see him? I had assumed we would naturally progress to mid-week dates, even if it meant him staying over at my place more. Yet here we are at another Monday, and Jamie and I have only tentatively agreed our next meet up for next Saturday afternoon. Not even Friday night.

I’ve casually suggested going out for a nice meal a couple of times, but he’s never bitten. Perhaps that’s just not his thing and he prefers a more relaxed environment. That’s what I want to believe anyway. The truth is I’m extremely reluctant to rock things with Jamie in case I push him too far, and on top of whatever ‘complicated’ situation he’s dealing with, it all becomes too much, and he disappears again. This time forever.

‘I’ll bring it up when I see him this weekend,’ I tell Anna with my fingers crossed behind my back, in case I wimp out.

‘Good.’ She nods with satisfaction at having finally gotten through to me. ‘Cause if he’s leading one of these double lives and he’s actually got a wife – or husband – and three adorable children back in Glasgow or wherever, then it’s better you know sooner rather than later.’

‘Sure, whatever.’ I walk away towards the kitchen, then stop and turn back to face Anna. ‘You know, it wasyouwho encouraged me at New Year. I was unsure, but you said you sensed he was one of the good ones. Does that mean you have a faulty radar?’

She shrugs. ‘I’m able to accept that I’m not always right. The question is: are you?’

We’re locked in a (friendly) standoff, when Lizzie bustles into the office in her usual ‘busy’ manner, her salt-and-pepper curls bouncing off her shoulders, her freckled face filled with intent.

‘Anna, Steph, good, I’m glad you’re both here. I want you to come to the venue for next week’s fundraiser to meet the staff who’ll be supporting the event. They’re having a rehearsal of sorts, and I think it’s important we’re all acquainted, so that we gel on the night itself. As you know, this event needs to go seamlessly to meet our fundraising target and keep us on track with our annual budget.’

‘Of course. When are we leaving?’ I ask.

‘Now. If that’s OK with you?’

This is quite typical of Lizzie. She’s a brilliant manager, so thoughtful and caring: interested in people and relationships, but keeps everything in her head and often doesn’t share until the last minute.

‘No probs.’ I return to my desk, looking longingly at my coffee mug as I set it down and pack up my stuff.

‘They’ll have coffee there.’ Lizzie smiles at me.

‘That’s a relief. I’m exhausted today.’

‘Out late with that new man of yours?’

‘No.’ I avoid Anna’s eyeline.

‘Are you bringing him to the fundraiser as your plus one?’ Lizzie asks. ‘I know Anna’s coming alone, but I’m bringing my husband.’

‘Oh… I don’t know… I’ll see. Maybe best if I don’t so that Anna doesn’t feel like a spare part.’

‘I won’t feel like a spare part at all, Steph.’ Anna’s tone is deliberate. ‘You shoulddefinitelyinvite Jamie. We’ll be working as well as enjoying ourselves, so it’ll be good for Lizzie’s husband to have some extra company.’

‘Exactly that.’ Lizzie beams at Anna, completely unaware of what’s bubbling away between us.

As we gather our stuff and head out the door to a waiting taxi, my mind ticks over: partly resenting Anna for putting me in this situation, as well as trying to come up with an excuse for Jamie that won’t raise Anna’s suspicions even further. The reality is that I’ll probably chicken out of asking him both the questions I’ve committed to:why do I only ever see him on a weekend, and if he’d like to be my plus one at the fundraiser, which – oh, by the way – happens to be on a Thursday night.

The rest of the week passes relatively uneventfully, and my extra hours keep me occupied enough not to obsess over things. I suppose there is some benefit to me not seeing Jamie on a weeknight: once Anna’s chewed my ear off about him on a Monday, there are no further updates for her to pick at for a week. By the time Saturday rolls around again, I’m almost climbing the walls with frustration. Not only because I don’t get toseehim during the week, but we also have minimal contact because of his curious messaging style. A couple of times, at the height of my frustration, I’ve called him, and we’ve had great chats, connecting just as well on the phone as we do in person. But the thing is, he never calls me. And sometimes when I call him, he doesn’t answer, which makes me feel awkward trying him again later on.

Today Jamie and I are heading out to South Queensferry for a walk on the Dalmeny Estate. It’s a favourite childhood spot of mine, with its tree-lined country lane that runs parallel to the light sandy beaches that slope into the Firth of Forth. I had many enjoyable walks there with my family when I was young, and not yet wise to their more questionable behaviour.

Jamie arrives at my apartment just after midday. I open the door to his dazzlingly sexy grin and gorgeous moss-green eyes, and he sweeps me into his arms the minute he’s inside.

‘I’ve missed you.’ He kisses me tenderly as I melt into his strong body.

‘I’ve missed you, too.’

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