Page 81 of One Night in Edinburgh

Once we’re done, I decide to make a quick trip to the ladies before things get started, and as I do, I notice a group of people coming out of the function room next door, laughing and joking with each other. They seem to be part of some corporate event. I pay little attention to them as they walk ahead of me until my eyes zone in on a man at the front of the group. I can only see him from the back, but he’s tall with brown man curls that look very much like Jamie’s. And that walk seems familiar, too.

I stop with a jolt.Surely not.It would be too much of a coincidence. Shaking my head to bring myself back to reality, I turn down the corridor to the ladies, but my steps become slower as my brain continues to tick over what I might have seen. Could it have been Jamie?

Chapter 26

Before I realise what I’m doing, I’ve made a U-turn and I’m hurrying along the corridor in the direction the group went. I’ve no idea where they were headed, but I can make an educated guess: the hotel bar. Moments later, I’m entering the high-ceilinged room with its ornate decor, eyes scanning the space for the man I saw. It’s pretty packed with people in corporate gear, so this isn’t as easy a task as I might have expected. But within moments, I’ve located the group from the corridor in the far corner of the bar and I’m staring straight at the back of the man’s head again. Willing him to turn so I can get a better look, I weave my way through the crowded room until I’m just feet away. He turns his head slightly, giving me a partial profile view of him, and my breath catches in my throat. It’s him. I’m sure of it.

As I gather myself together, unsure how to approach him, a tall woman with long sleek dark hair walks past me, drink in hand, and joins the group, obstructing my view. Then to my horror, she slips her arm around Jamie’s waist, and they kiss.

I’m frozen to the spot, heart hammering in my chest as I watch them nuzzle each other intimately. So, Anna was right after all. Jamie is a liar and a cheat. My overriding instinct is to bolt out of the bar, but there’s another driving force within me that’s keeping me rooted right where I am. I don’t want him to get away with it. Jamie has hurt me and now I want to hurt him back, and the only way to do that is to expose him for who he really is. The adrenaline kicks in and I march up to the two of them.

‘You lying bastard.’ I practically spit out, as the woman’s face drains of colour and a bewildered Jamie turns to look at me.

Only it’s not Jamie. The man before me, now I’m seeing him face on, bears a striking resemblance to Jamie, but he’s not him. And he’s looking at me as if I’m a complete lunatic – which to be fair, is exactly how I look.

‘Who is she?’ the woman demands of the man who is not Jamie.

‘I’ve never seen her in my life. I swear.’

‘I’m… oh man, I’m so sorry…’ I stammer and start to back away. ‘I thought you were someone else.’

My face blazing with mortification, I turn and leg it out of the bar, my super-sensitised hearing picking up the comments being murmured behind me of, ‘crazy bitch’, ‘wouldn’t want to be her right now’ and ‘what was that about?’ as I flee.

A short while later, after I’ve pulled myself together enough to return to the function suite, I’m standing in front of a sea of faces: some interested, some looking surprisingly bored by the affair, and some who appear to have gone to town on the welcome aperitifs – or they got tanked up ahead of arriving. Funny, I thought people grew out of that habit by their late twenties. This is a room mainly full of forty-plus, glamorously turned-out citizens of our fine city and beyond.

My heart thudding, I try to ignore the burning humiliation that reignites every time my mind involuntarily flits back to what just happened, I nervously tap the microphone and clear my throat. Then I kind of sway back and forth like a well-dressed scarecrow, until I can no longer put things off. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Lizzie watching me intently, willing me to start the proceedings.Here we go.I have to hold myself together, because this moment will either make or destroy my career.

‘Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.’ My faltering voice booms through the cordless mic, making me cringe a little. ‘Thank you so much for joining us at this evening’s hugely important fundraiser. As many of you know, Edinburgh Youth Kickstart was set up back in 2009 by our wonderful Lizzie Chalmers.’ I extend my arm – which is shaking slightly from my double whammy adrenaline rush – in Lizzie’s direction, and all eyes follow: putting her very firmly in the limelight.

There’s a swell of applause as she gives a little wave and blows kisses from her seat wedged between an older woman dripping in expensive-looking jewellery, and a red-faced man who looks like he was involved in the pre-event partying.

‘Lizzie’s passion for giving young, disadvantaged people a real chance at a future has been the lifeblood of this organisation,’ I continue, finally getting into my flow; which thankfully sends my sense of humiliation into retreat for now. ‘It’s no secret that this passion comes from Lizzie’s own experience of facing struggles no young person should have had to face. Tonight, our aim is to feed you, give you a good time – though I can see some of you have already achieved that…’

I pause as there’s a ripple of laughter, and the tipsier of our guests assume slightly shame-faced, but thoroughly entertained expressions. So far so good.

‘And our final aim, in the nicest possible way, is to take your money, of course…’

There’s another peal of laughter and a lot of nodding.

‘We have some fantastic items in our auction tonight, so please do take some time to look at the table and think about what you might like to bid for. The higher the better.’ I add in a mock whisper. ‘And remember, every penny goes towards to the great work we’re doing to give our young people hope and prospects for the future. But, before you dig into the delicious food the hotel has donated to this event, I’d like to introduce you to Samira, who found herself facing destitution after having been forced to leave her home at the age of eighteen.’

I step aside as Samira takes centre stage and shares her story of how Edinburgh Youth Kickstart helped save her from a life of poverty and drugs, and quite probably, an early death. She handles herself with such positivity and decorum that there’s barely a dry eye in the place – including mine.

Once she’s done, I wish everyone an enjoyable evening, then make my way across to the table at which I’ve been placed. Taking my seat between Mrs Carmichael and a man in full Highland dress, I glance across at Lizzie, then Anna, both of whom are watching me and giving me clear signals that they think I did a great job. Thank goodness for that. Now all I need is to get through the next few hours without making an idiot of myself again and get my feet firmly back on dry land.

The relief that the person I had seen wasn’t in fact Jamie came quickly after I was out of sight of the patronising eyes of the people in the bar. But it was short-lived, because it reminded me that Jamie could be anywhere with another woman – his girlfriend, fiancée, wife – and I had been just someone to con. I didn’t mean anything to him.

‘Steph, dear.’ Mrs Carmichael brings me back to the moment. ‘That was quite an opener. You are a natural.’

‘Oh, thank you.’ I force a smile. ‘Between you and me, I was quite nervous.’

‘Of course, you were. We all get anxious about things like that, but it did not show at all.’

‘That’s good to know.’ I lean slightly to my right as my starter of smoked salmon and crab terrine is deposited in front of me.

‘Tell me, my love…’ Her voice lowers almost to a whisper. ‘What was on your mind when we spoke yesterday? I felt very vexed for you.’

I hesitate, unsure after what’s just happened at the bar, whether I should be opening Pandora’s box right now. It’s clear that I’m not coping very well. Mrs Carmichael reads my troubled expression and squeezes my hand gently. Although small, this gesture of support combined with the alcohol I’ve consumed creates a wave of emotion inside me.

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