Page 67 of One Night in Edinburgh

‘It was… a learning experience.’ There’s no way I’m bursting Mrs Carmichael’s romantic bubble with the bare-faced (or as one of the photos in my messages went – bare-arsed) truth.

‘Did any of these young suitors turn into something more long term?’

I almost choke with laughter as I try to think about any of the blokes I interacted with as ‘suitors’. Oh, how the world has changed.

‘No, but I am dating someone now. Someone I met at New Year – at the street party.’

‘How lovely.’ Mrs Carmichael’s face lights up with interest. ‘Tell me all about it.’

I happily launch into the story of how Jamie and I met, and everything that’s happened since. While I’m in full flow, Angelika appears with a tray of goodies – a huge pot of tea and a selection of homebaked cakes to rival even the best of coffee shops – and we dig in. I moan with satisfaction as I bite into a moist slice of date and walnut loaf with a slather of butter on it.

‘Angelika, you are one mean baker,’ I say to her when she pops back in to check we’re all right.

‘Thank you, Steph.’ She backs off to leave us in peace once again, giving me a semi-bow in the process.

It’s something that still feels surreal, despite the fact I’ve visited many times now: like I’ve been transported back through time to Downton Abbey.

‘So, there you are…’ I say to Mrs Carmichael once I’ve given her a slightly edited rundown of my budding relationship with Jamie, so not to make her blush. ‘That’s where things are at.’

‘I am so pleased for you, Steph.’ She sips from her china cup reflectively. ‘This issue your friends have raised about Jamie not sharing information about himself, is it not a concern to you?’

Damn it. In trying to keep things clean, I’ve overshared in a different respect.

I take a moment to weigh up how to answer this. ‘No.Well, maybe a bit. But only because Connor and Anna won’t let it go. It probably is a bit odd that Jamie’s not shared some of these details, but there have always been reasons why – like we’ve gotten distracted or whatever. And he has told me he’s in a “complicated” situation. I figure it’s just really sensitive and he’ll share it when he’s ready. Do you think I should be concerned?’

Mrs Carmichael ponders my question whilst staring into the flames of the fire. ‘I would like to say to you, Steph, to follow your heart; that men have pride that gets in the way of many things. However, I am aware that my experience in this area is somewhat outdated. When I met my dearly departed husband, George, it was a much simpler affair. Our families knew each other, so we were introduced, and we were enraptured with each other right from the start.’

She smiles wistfully at this memory, while I gag a little at the thought of my family setting me up with some high-earning, narcissistic arsehole and acting like they’d given me the gift of life in the process.

‘This world has become a complicated place,’ Mrs Carmichael continues, drawing my attention back to her. ‘With all that I see on the news, I feel compelled to urge you caution. To not get too involved emotionally until you have the facts…’

OK, it’s way too late for that.

‘…and protect yourself from any possible hurt that may come your way – whether that be to your heart or otherwise. You are a strong, independent young woman, Steph. You do not need a man to validate you, and any man who deserves your time should show you mutual honesty and respect. That is what got George and I through all those decades together.’

Mrs Carmichael looks at me expectantly and I can feel myself flapping inside. I thought it was pretty much guaranteed that she’d go with the romance side of things and reinforce my point of view, particularly given her earlier (and somewhat naive) comment about online dating. Turns out she’s more aware of the world around her than I thought. This is unsettling, because I can easily write my friends off for being irrationally overprotective, but I can’t do the same in this situation.

‘I… um… I think your words are very wise,’ I manage eventually. ‘I shall heed them.’

‘Good girl.’ Mrs Carmichael seems pleased with my response. ‘Now have some more tea and cake. The chocolate gateau is simply divine.’ She pops a large slice on a plate and hands it to me with a fork before I have the chance to decline.

We chat some more, but as time is ticking and I need to get back to work, I make my excuses sooner than I might ordinarily have. Crunching my way back across the driveway, with Mrs Carmichael’s latest donation for the fundraiser tucked under my arm, I feel queasy from all the cake. But there’s also another unpleasant feeling that I recognise as a seedling of doubt: because it’s very hard to ignore so many voices of concern.

Chapter 21

For the next few weeks, things are quite blissful – provided I don’t think too deeply about them. Because while I am now experiencing some doubt about Jamie, I’m not yet ready to face up to that. And I definitely don’t want Anna and Connor to know about it.

Jamie and I spend most of each weekend together: mainly hanging out at mine, watching films, cooking nice meals or going for walks, which often culminate with us stopping off for a beer or a coffee at The Shore. Everything is perfect, apart from one thing: I still only see him at weekends.

‘Yeah, why is that?’ Anna locks her laser-beam stare on me over her computer screen, as I get up to make myself a coffee one Monday morning in late March.

‘I… um… I don’t know. I’ve never asked.’ I attempt to slope off to the kitchen, but she’s having none of it.

Unfortunately – and to my deep frustration – sharing the news about Jamie’s job with Anna the day after my dad’s birthday lunch didn’t put her off her quest to ‘find out what he’s hiding’ as I had expected. Instead, I was subjected to a number of interrogations over the weeks.

‘So… he runs a business, but he can’t tell you what it’s called or anything about it,’ she had said on one occasion. ‘I assume you also still don’t know where he lives or his surname either. All very handy for him: it means you can’t look him up online.’

‘Oh, he’s not on social media,’ I had replied. ‘Apparently came off it a while back,’

---