Page 27 of One Night in Edinburgh

‘True.’

We walk along the path which, after a gentle upward gradient, levels off and becomes a very pleasant stroll. It’s flanked by trees and vegetation: a haven of tranquillity, and a precious way of escaping the traffic and getting closer to nature in one of the most densely populated areas of Edinburgh. Whenever I walk here, it makes me feel like I’ve left the city altogether – that is, until I’m nearly flattened from time to time by a kamikaze cyclist who doesn’t acknowledge the signage requesting them to be respectful of other path users.

‘What about Jamie then?’ Anna asks. ‘You said you guys never swapped details.’

I chew my lip, pondering this question. ‘I don’t know. I’m assuming he’s probably unsure what to do, with Connor having unexpectedly reappeared like that. Maybe he thinks we got back together.’

‘And you’re sure he wanted to take things further?’

‘He certainly hinted at it. No… it wasn’t even that subtle. He said that he was pleased that I was OK about my breakup, because it might mean I’d be ready to date again soon after.’

Anna grimaces. ‘He may have said it, but do you think hemeantit?’

I blink at her, confused. ‘What do you mean?’

‘What I mean is that men say stuff. Sometimes they mean it, and sometimes they don’t. Or in the moment, theydomean it – or at least theythinkthey do – but then once they’re out of the situation, they back off.’

‘But why? That makes no sense at all.’

‘That’s the billion-pound question, Steph.’ Anna throws out her arms to exaggerate this point. ‘If us women could work out what goes on in the heads of men, our love lives would be a hell of a lot easier. And they have the cheek to call women complicated!’

‘You mean… he might have… played me?’

Anna bobs her head in a non-committal way. ‘It’s possible, but I’d say unlikely. He did seem like a genuinely good guy. Maybe he got swept up in the moment, and then, when he had to leg it from your apartment yesterday, he decided it wasn’t a situation he wanted to get involved in.’

‘Huh.’ A slightly sick feeling washes over me as I take this all in.

‘Or—’ She clocks my despondency and pulls me into a sideways hug. ‘Maybe he’s biding his time, and he’s going to find a way to contact you once you’ve had a bit of breathing space.’

‘I like that version better.’

As I say this, I don’t feel any real sense of possibility, because now that the exhilaration of my night with Jamie has worn off, I’m starting to wonder how that particular outcome could even come about.

‘Ooh…’ Anna’s face lights up. ‘Maybe he’s doing a stakeout outside your apartment with binoculars and night-vision goggles and all – watching your every move to decide on the right time to re-establish contact.’

I frown at this image. ‘Think you’ve been watching too muchHomelandon Netflix, and now you’ve turned him into a stalker. Back it up a bit.’

‘Was only trying to make you feel better.’

‘You don’t need to do that. I suppose I’m getting a taste of what everyone else has been through in the last decade in terms of their love lives, while I’ve been shored up in my protective Connor bubble. I watched the agonising and second-guessing from the sidelines, and I was always glad I wasn’t part of it. Now, I’m the one at a severe disadvantage. You’re wise to the games, and I’m the virgin dater limping along at the back with no clue what I’m doing.’

‘Hey… you’ll be fine.’ Anna stops at the mouth of the long, cavernous old train tunnel we’re about to enter, and hugs me properly. ‘You’ve got me. I’ll teach you everything I know. OK?’

‘OK.’

‘That wasn’t a very convincing “OK”.’

‘No.’

‘Because you like Jamie.’

I exhale heavily. ‘There was something real between us. I felt it, Anna.’

She plants her hands on my shoulders and looks me straight in the eye. ‘Well, here’s hoping he gets in touch then, because right now, only he can make contact. But if he doesn’t—’

‘Let’s not go there.’ I pull away – unwilling to entertain whatever’s about to come next – and enter the tunnel, which is as cold and empty as my heart currently feels.

‘I’m just trying to help you be realistic.’ Anna follows me.

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