Page 25 of One Night in Edinburgh

‘And how are you feeling about this?’

‘I’m OK. It came out of nowhere, but the more I get used to the idea, the more I realise it was the right thing. We’ve…’ I think back to my earlier conversation with Mikey ‘…grown in different directions.’

There’s another exchange of looks, followed by a mood lift that seems to light up the room. They’re clearly trying to be discreet, but I can see how delighted they are. I can well imagine if I weren’t here, and I’d delivered the message by phone, they’d be cracking open the bubbly by now.

‘Well, all things come to an end eventually.’ My mum goes for an air of diplomacy, which I assume is an attempt to wrap up the conversation and move on, but Kayleigh has other ideas.

‘What reason did he give?’

She’s a pain in the arse my sister, but very perceptive when it comes to uncovering dirt. I waver in my response, unable to offer anything: I can’t lie, but I also can’t break Connor’s trust on this one. I see Mikey watching me with narrowed eyes. He didn’t ask me that question so now he must be wondering the same thing as Kayleigh, but has the brotherly instinct to protect his youngest sister at all costs.

‘Don’t think there’s any need to pick over the carcass of Steph’s relationship, Kayleigh. You might think that’s OK because of all the crap reality TV you watch, but it’s not.’

‘I was only asking,’ she retorts.

‘Well, don’t. Think our wee sis has been through enough. Give her some breathing space.’

‘Whatever.’ Kayleigh flicks her hair back in annoyance and rolls her eyes in Mum and Dad’s direction.

To my surprise, both my parents say nothing more on the subject, making me think they might possess a shred of humanity after all. I excuse myself to the bathroom in the hope that when I return, they’ll have moved on to Pictionary or at least another topic of conversation.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case, and as I’m about to re-enter the room, I hear them talking amongst themselves in hushed tones.

‘It’s more than good news,’ says my mum. ‘It’s blinking marvellous. Finally, our Steph can move on with her life.’

‘Totally,’ says Kayleigh. ‘It’s like she’s been stuck in some post-high school delusion for the last ten years.’

‘Don’t be such a drama queen, Kayleigh,’ says Mikey. ‘He wasn’t right for her, but it’s not like her whole life has been on hold.’

‘Has it not?’ says my mum. ‘She’s settled for a job that’s beneath her and she’s living in Leith.’

‘Newhaven, actually,’ Mikey corrects her. ‘And there’s nothing wrong with Leith. It’s an up-and-coming area that’s really popular with young folk.’

‘Well, anyway, it’s good riddance as far as I’m concerned. That boy never made any effort to fit into this family.’

‘It’s certainly a positive step forward for our Steph,’ agrees my dad. ‘We could see if any of our friends and acquaintances could help with some suitable introductions when she’s ready.’

‘Good thinking, Dad,’ says Kayleigh. ‘Otherwise you know what she’s like. Who knows what she might drag in off the street this time?’

‘Yeah, and she’ll besopleased to know you lot are setting up her next relationship for her,’ scoffs Mikey.

I feel myself start to shake with anger. Howdarethey. It’s one thing to disapprove of my partner and choices in life, but to talk as if I’m some loser who needs them to fix me? That’s too far. The only saving grace I’ve heard is Mikey looking out for me and challenging them on their ridiculous views.

I’m about to storm into the room and (attempt to) lose my shit, when I have a moment of clarity, and realise that this will only fuel their arguments that I’m incapable in every aspect of my life. I’m not going to give them that satisfaction. Nor am I going to slope off to bed as I originally planned, and let them think I’m heartbroken.

Taking a few deep, calming breaths, I push open the door to the living room and sit back in my original spot on the sofa.

‘So…’ I look around my family. ‘Are we playing Pictionary or not?’

At two p.m. the next day, I’m standing by the lighthouse at Newhaven pier, gazing out across the calm water of the Forth Estuary, waiting for Anna to appear. It’s another crisp afternoon, but not as cold as the previous days – perfect for a long walk and a catch up together.

I scroll absently through my phone as I wait, my mind on other things – most notably my family and how much they wind me up. After a fractured night’s sleep, I managed to retain my sense of grace this morning: refusing to react to any of the usual inflammatory language and derogatory statements that are casually thrown around regarding my life. Despite the fact that Connor is no longer infringing on my family’s cosy little world, they continued to put a huge amount of effort into scoring points against him. This, I can only assume to be part of a campaign to make sure that, if Connor sees what a mistake he’s made, I’m under no illusion as to their feelings about him. In some ways, it was quite amusing; little do they know that the chances of Connor having a reverse revelation and announcing that he’s straight after all, are about as likely as Kayleigh giving up Instagram for Lent.

Looking up from my phone, I give Anna a little wave as I spot her approaching through the car park.

‘Hiya. It’s a shame there are no cafes open today,’ I say as she reaches me. ‘I could do with a coffee to heat me up.’

‘I brought a Thermos, two mini hot water bottles and a blanket.’ She pulls a rucksack from her back and opens it to show me.

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