Page 20 of One Night in Edinburgh

‘Come on, out with it,’ he prompts me.

‘Connor, it’s not… there’s no…argh… I can’t tell you this.’

‘Because it involves a bloke and you don’t want to hurt me?’

‘Yes.’

‘You do remember I’m gay, right?’ he laughs. ‘And that I abandoned you on Hogmanay for a bloke myself?’

‘Yes…’ I wince, still unable to bring myself to say the words.

‘Look, if we’re going to be “besties” as you put it, surely we can tell each other anything.’

‘But it’s weird,’ I wail.

‘It’ll only be weird for a few minutes. Look, I haven’t shared the extent of my disastrous liaison with Rob… I wasn’t going to because it’s mortifying. But if it makes you more comfortable, I’m willing to take the hit. How about I share mine and then you can share yours?’

My curiosity now piqued, I’m willing to feel some pain to hear what Connor’s got to share.

‘OK, fine. Go.’

Connor momentarily disappears into his own memory of last night, and emerges back in the room, half-grossed out, half-laughing, but it’s a mortified laugh.

‘When I left here, I messaged Rob to say I was on my way,’ he says. ‘He sounded so pleased, and said he’d be waiting for me.’

‘And?’

‘And he was. He greeted me at the door wearing a gold G-string and nothing else.’

‘Oh my gosh.’ My hands fly to my mouth in humiliation on Connor’s behalf.

‘I was horrified. I tried to pretend everything was fine as he served me Champagne and assumed the role of sexy waiter for the evening. But I’m telling you, all the feelings I had for him literally extinguished the moment I clapped eyes on him in that doorway.’

‘That’s a complete nightmare.’ I start to giggle uncontrollably – more a shock reaction than finding it funny – at the idea of poor Connor, taking his first tentative steps as a gay man, and being faced with that. ‘I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d run headlong for the closet and locked yourself in for good after that experience. Sorry, I know I shouldn’t laugh…’

‘It’s fine. Laugh away. If I don’t laugh about it myself, I might end up doing exactly as you say.’ Connor looks at me with wide, traumatised eyes. ‘The worst thing about it was that he insisted on feeding me all these aphrodisiac foods and he assumed this sort of hungry wolf expression that he so couldn’t pull off.’

‘Oh no,’ I hoot, tears now rolling down my cheeks. ‘This is too much. What did you do?’

‘The only thing I could think of. I told him I could feel a migraine coming on, and I made my excuses.’

‘So where did you spend last night then?’

‘At a crappy hotel off Leith Walk. They gave me a late check out, at least.’ He shrugs pathetically, which only sets me off even more.

‘Oh Connor. That’s the worst.’ I attempt to compose myself. ‘You hear stories of people doing weird shit on dates – I know some women who’ve had some horrific experiences through dating apps – but I’ve never known anyone who’s faced anything like that. I’m so sorry that happened to you.’

‘Me too. I’m considering resigning from my job, because I can’t bear to face him after that.’

‘He’s the one that should be feeling that way, not you. What was he thinking, behaving like that with someone who’s only recently come out? Or anyone really?’

‘I don’t know.’ Connor shakes his head in complete bafflement. ‘Had no clue he had that side to him at all. He’s so quiet at work – almost shy. That’s what attracted me to him.’

‘Well, maybe you could go on a dating app or something, and find some better matches. There’ll be good guys out there who’ll treat you with far more respect.’

‘Maybe. Think for now I’ll concentrate on figuring myself out; then I can decide how to approach the world of dating. Don’t want to unwittingly walk into another clanger like that.’

‘Wise words.’ I pat his shoulder sympathetically.

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