Page 18 of One Night in Edinburgh

‘Oh, erm… yes, of course.’

I buzz him in and slam the handset back in its cradle.

‘It’s Connor.’ I rush back into the bedroom in a panic. ‘Shit. Shit. Shit.’

‘I don’t suppose he’ll be happy to see you’ve moved on already?’ tries Jamie.

‘I don’t know. Maybe. But I don’t know why he’s here. What if he’s come to tell me he’s made a huge mistake? He’d be crushed. And even if he hasn’t, he’s not going to be best pleased to find someone he’s never met in his bed, is he?’

‘You’re right. I’ll go.’ Jamie jumps up and pulls on his clothes at lightning speed. ‘I can slip out before he reaches this floor.’

‘I’m so sorry, Jamie. This was so not part of the plan.’

‘The plan?’ He throws me a quizzical look while pulling on his socks.

‘You know what I mean.’ I’m almost dancing on the spot with anxiety.

‘Don’t worry at all. I’ll take the stairs. He’ll never know I was here.’

He kisses me hard on the mouth, and slips out of the apartment, shoes and jacket in hand, while I rush to the kitchen to clear away the second mug and plate.

Chapter 6

Ten seconds later, there’s a knock at the door. I open it to a miserable-looking Connor.

‘Hi. Why did you buzz? Forget your key?’ I gesture for him to come in and he follows me through to the kitchen.

‘I didn’t think it would be fair for me to swan in here after what I did to you yesterday,’ he says.

I take in his forlorn expression, and all I want to do is hug him and tell him everything’s going to be OK. Resisting that urge, I opt instead for some words of comfort.

‘It’s still your place, too, Connor.’

‘Yes, but I also wondered if… you know… you might have someone here.’

I feel my face turn scarlet and have to turn away to hide my blushes for the second time today.

‘Tea?’ To keep my cover, I fill the kettle, and get out a couple of mugs before he even answers.

He eyes the used cafetiere. ‘I’d love a coffee if it’s not too much trouble?’

‘Not at all. Take a seat and I’ll sort that, then we can chat.’

Once I have our drinks ready, I join Connor at the dining table, while desperately trying to keep my mind off the delicious kisses I was sharing with Jamie only half an hour before – in the very same spot.

‘Happy New Year to you, by the way,’ I say.

‘Oh, yes, sorry. Happy New Year.’ He flashes me an anaemic smile.

‘Connor, for someone who’s freed himself of the burden of having to live a lie, you seem pretty down. Rob didn’t reject you after all that, did he?’

‘No.’ He stares into his coffee miserably. ‘It’s me. I’m the one who’s not dealing with things well. My head’s a mess and I totally regret what I’ve done.’

It dawns on me that Connor may indeed be about to tell me he’s made a huge mistake. The problem is, I’m not sure how I feel about that. If he’s not gay, and this was just some kind of blokey infatuation, then he might want to pick things up with us again. But I don’t know that I do. It may only have been a matter of hours since he up-ended our lives, but I feel like so much has happened since then. I’ve woken up and seen things for what they really are. His sexuality isn’t the only issue. Even if he’s straight, or possibly bi, it’s become clear that we’ve been nothing more than great friends for a long time.

‘Connor…’ I take a moment to gather my thoughts through my hangover. ‘It’s understandable that you’re confused. It would be odd to have a defining moment like you did yesterday and then everything fall perfectly into place. This isn’t Hollywood. Real life is messy and complicated.’

‘I know that, Steph.’ His tone is almost resentful. ‘I’m not deluded. But with Rob… it wasn’t what I had been imagining at all.’

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