Page 107 of One Night in Edinburgh

‘Yeah… normally.’ I don’t want to admit to this, but I can’t lie.

‘See, there you go. I ruined it for you.’ Jamie takes my hand apologetically. ‘So… today we replace that bad memory with a new one. The plan being that it, combined with your family memories – which are all the more important now things are so difficult in that space – will take centre stage and make you want to keep coming here in the future.’

‘Jamie, I…’ I shake my head in disbelief at the thoughtfulness of this gesture. ‘Thank you so much for this.’

‘It’s the least I could do. And look, I know you said you don’t want to talk about your family, but are you OK? I need to be able to check in with you on that.’

Out of respect for Jamie, I give his question some proper thought. ‘I am. Perhaps it’s not quite hit me yet, but I know I’ll be OK.’

He gives me a sad smile. ‘All right then. I’m here any time you want to talk about it.’

‘I know that. Shall we?’

We get out of the car, and Jamie grabs a large backpack from the boot.

‘I brought us a little picnic as well.’ He grins as he swings it up and onto his back.

‘Ooh, great.’ I rub my palms together greedily. ‘I have the hangover munchies.’

‘Figured you would.’

We wander down the hill and onto the estate hand in hand, chatting away as we go. The single-track road is peppered with rusty coloured leaves that have dropped from the trees and the air has that slightly musty – but not unpleasant – autumnal smell about it. I’m so elated to be doing this with Jamie again – but this time with no secrets between us – and that I can talk about anything that comes to mind. Which is exactly what I do.

‘You mentioned last night that you’re hoping your job will be temporary,’ I say to him. ‘Do you have a plan in mind?’

‘I do.’ He nods. ‘I’m not very good at being an employee. Never have been. The call-centre role I’m doing at the moment is limited and restrictive, but it does give me the gift of time. I don’t have to work a minute more than I’m contracted to, so I can use my evenings and weekends to work on business ideas. I’ve got something at an early stage in the pipeline.’

‘That’s great news. Do you mind if I ask what it is?’

‘Of course not. Ultimately, I’d love to own a brewery again in the future. That’s the dream, so I thought if I could play around with some flavours and start making beer again, I could try and grow it from there.’

‘That’s a great idea.’

‘I think so. I can do it from my flat if I can set myself up with the right equipment. It’ll be a squeeze with me living in a one-bedroom place, but it’s doable.’

‘You know, Jamie, I think you can do anything you put your mind to.’ I drop his hand and slip my arm round his waist, pulling him towards me. ‘You’re resilient and likeable and clearly very entrepreneurial.’

He stops and looks at me meaningfully. ‘Thanks, Steph. You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that right now. When it all happened, I was angry at myself for missing the signs and for trusting my mate. It knocked my confidence – that and losing everything, of course. I would never have admitted this to myself before, but I need someone in my life cheering me on.’

‘Well, I’m your biggest cheerleader. You can bet on that.’

‘I know I can. That’s more than I could wish for. An amazing and seriously beautiful woman, who’s the director of a charity, and acing that role from what Anna told me last night.’

‘Oh, I not sure I’m acing it.’ I wrinkle my nose. ‘I am really enjoying it though, and I do feel like it’s within my gift to do great things to support our disadvantaged young people. I’m going to do my best to make Lizzie proud.’

‘Modest, too.’ Jamie grins at me adoringly. ‘I couldn’t have struck it luckier.’

He pulls me into a long, dreamy kiss that’s even dreamier with the leaves falling around us; then we continue until we reach the same spot of beach we were at last time. Making our way through the low dunes and onto the sand, I can see that the tide is higher than last time. The sound of the seabirds and the gentle crashing of the waves, as well as the briny air soothes my slightly hungover mind.

‘Shall we set up here?’ Jamie points to a partially sheltered area that might or might not be the same place we sat in last time.

He pulls a blanket from his rucksack and lays it on the ground, then unpacks the food: a couple of prepacked supermarket sandwiches, a large bag of crisps, a tub of mango chunks and a couple of small bottles of mineral water.

‘This OK?’ he asks. ‘Not quite the spread we had last time.’

‘It’s wonderful.’ I beam at him.

Being honest, he could have unpacked a tin of dog food and a mouldy cabbage and I’d still be smiling – because all I care about is the fact that we’re here. We’re back together. And this time, I’ll be leaving this beach with happy memories.

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