Page 105 of One Night in Edinburgh

‘Actually, that’s not true,’ Kayleigh pipes up. ‘I didn’t tell them because you were so mad at me, and I didn’t want to cause a family blowout.’

‘Wow.’ I shake my head a little as I try to digest this. ‘You’re human after all?’

‘Steph…’ Jamie gives me a nudge to discourage me from scoring points for the sake of it.

‘Right, yeah, so that’s where things are at with us,’ I say to my family with an air of finality. ‘So, over to you.’

There’s a stony silence. My heart pounds in my chest from the adrenaline as I wait for some kind of response. After what feels like an age, my mum finds her voice.

‘Steph, I’m not sure what to make of this – and I’m wondering about your judgement in calling us like this with Jamie right there. How are we supposed to speak honestly when he’s listening in? And for you to expect an honest response? How did it happen, Jamie – gambling? Drugs?’

‘I’m more concerned by the fact that Jamie’s had the balls to sit in a restaurant and lie to our faces,’ Mikey pitches in. ‘If dishonesty comes that easily to you, mate, then I’ve got to wonder about you being with my sister.’

‘Exactly that,’ says my dad. ‘This lad has been on the streets. Who knows what he’s picked up? The untruths rolled off his tongue a little too easily, how do we know you’re safe with him? How would we know we’re safe to have him in our house—’

‘And what are we supposed to tell people if they ask?’ My mum cuts my dad off. ‘Some of us don’t feel as comfortable lying—’

‘Are youkiddingme? What is wrong with you all?’ I’m so outraged by these comments, I lose control of myself.

‘Steph!’ Kayleigh cries out in shock.

‘Enough of that, young lady.’ My dad’s voice takes on the menacing tone he uses to pull me and my siblings back into line when we go too far, but this time I’m not having it.

‘Or what?’ I challenge him. ‘What are you going to do, Dad? I thought you were a bit snobbish and judgemental. Now I think you’re the pits. I’m embarrassed to be related to you, and any shred of respect I had for you has gone. Vanished.’

‘Now wait a minute—’ My mum attempts to wade in, but I cut her off.

‘No, Mum. You don’t get to make any demands of me any more. Jamie has been through hell and all you lot can do is ask – quite frankly – the most prejudiced and offensive questions I’ve ever heard. And it’s so clear that while you’re completely ignorant, you’re also wondering how it will look if people find out the truth.

Four guilty faces blink back at me, which tells me I’m exactly right about that observation.

‘Well, great,’ I continue. ‘Just great. I thought your reaction to my promotion was bad, but this… this takes you to a whole new low. Now I’m the one who’s ashamed – ashamed to call you my family. You know what, I’m done.’ My voice wavers on the last word and a lump suddenly appears in my throat, but I swallow it down. ‘I’m never good enough, you never listen, and all you care about is money and appearances. I’m tired of trying to fit into your narrow, shallow lives when you won’t even try to fit into mine. I’m done with the lot of you.’

Without saying anything further, I jab viciously at the screen to end the call and immediately leave our family WhatsApp group. Then, I turn to Jamie.

‘I’m so,sosorry for that.’ My eyes prink with tears, which quickly spill over, and throw my arms around him.

He holds me, but there’s a limpness to his touch, so I pull away and look up at him. His face is ashen, his eyes glassy and it almost breaks me to see him like this.

‘Jamie, I—’

‘Don’t…’ He puts a finger to my lips and clears his throat. ‘Steph, I can’t be that kind of wedge between you and your family. This is exactly what I was concerned about.’

‘What? You think I want them in my life now I’ve seen what they’re capable of?’

‘They’re your family. Family’s—’

‘Don’t say “important”,’ I interrupt him. ‘Thatis not important to me. I’m repulsed by those attitudes and behaviours, so don’t even bother trying to talk me round. I’m sad that it has come to this, but I’m mature enough to realise it’s probably been a long time coming. Even if you want to walk away – and who would blame you if you do – I still want nothing to do with them. It won’t fix anything. So, it’s up to you.’ I look him straight in the face, silently begging him not to discard me because of the family I ended up with.

He says nothing at first and his expression remains troubled, leaving me wondering if this could be the final and uncrossable obstacle in our fledgling relationship. Then, his face softens and he gently takes my hands in his.

‘I know who you are Steph and you’re not one of them. It concerns me the idea of you cutting them out of your life, but I also respect that you know your own mind. But if for any reason your position changes, or it’s too difficult for you, then I will understand that.’

‘It’s not going to change.’ I throw my arms round Jamie’s neck and kiss him deeply to emphasise my point. ‘So, now the hard bit is out the way, what are we going to do today?’ I ask him when we finally come up for air. ‘I certainly don’t want to spend it thinking about the car crash that is my family. And now I’ve found you again, there’s no way I’m letting you out of my sight.’

‘That may get tricky when Monday comes round and we both have to go to work,’ Jamie quips and I’m pleased to see his mood lightening again.

‘True. OK, then I’m not letting you out of my sight for the rest of the weekend.’

---