Page 64 of Take a Moment

‘It’s actually the Chengyang Bridge,’ I correct her, scanning the information on the Wikipedia search result.

‘Seriously, Lex?’

‘Shit. Sorry.’ I press the home button on my phone and focus my attention on Sasha. ‘That’s a bit obsessive. So, where did the armpit request come in?’

‘I was so desperate to get off the subject of ruddy bridges, I started yakking on about what I had been doing that day. Mentioned that I’d been to Boots – and listed everything I bought there, including a new antiperspirant.’

‘And then he asked if he could smell your armpit?’

‘Well, no. He wasn’t sayinganything. I’d finally found a topic he couldn’t link to bridges – so I rambled on about my new antiperspirant having a lovely fragrance, and how I kept getting wafts of it as I was talking to him.’

‘And then he asked if he could smell it?’

‘Yes. What a weirdo, right?’

I bite my lip to hold back the laughter. ‘Err… Sash. I think he was just being polite. He probably didn’t know how to respond to the crazy lady describing her shopping in detail.’

The line goes silent.

‘Sash?’

‘Oh, man.I’m a weirdo too.’ The wailing returns, having jumped an octave. ‘I’ve had so many bad dates, I’ve turned into a bad date. This is it, Lex – the point of no return. I’m going to be alone for ever.’

I have to stifle a laugh. Sash and Lex. Joined at the hip since ninety-three. Her, a serial dater with a dismal track record. Me, there to pick her up after another bad date.

‘No, you’re not,’ I reassure her. ‘When you meet someone you properly connect with, you’ll talk about good stuff. There may still be awkward silences – I can testify to that – but no more armpit or bridge chat, unless your dream man has a fetish you’re willing to entertain.’

‘Eugh, stop it!’ Sasha complains, but I can tell she finds it funny. ‘OK, that’s enough date chat. What else is happening?’

‘Not much really. I’ve started my leadership programme pre-work, and Danielle-the-devil-incarnate is still trying to oust me from my position. All is fine. Good, actually.’

‘And your health?’

I hesitate briefly. ‘No change really. I’m OK as long as I don’t push myself too hard and get a bit of rest. How about the situation with your mum?’ I’m keen to change the subject.

‘I’m working up to it. She knows something isn’t right. Keeps asking why I’m only calling rather than going round.’

‘Right.’ I get up from the bed and start to pace. ‘And do you feel able to do it, Sash? You’re stronger than you think, you know.’

‘I know.’ She says this in a small voice that suggests exactly the opposite.

‘You are. It’s going to be horrible, but remember our chat. Once you’ve done it, you can move on with your life and join me here. I’m sure that dreamy man you’re looking for is right here in this city, just waiting for you.’

‘You’re right. Putting it off is making it harder. I need to do it.’

‘You do. And you can. I’m here, as soon as you need me.’

‘Thanks, Lex. You’re the best. Oh, I almost forgot… I bumped into your sister the other day.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ I joke, but I feel a smidgen of hope. ‘And?’

‘She asked how you were doing. I told her you were great and how well you were doing in your job. She was her usual judgemental self, made some comment about how that won’t last long and how they’ll soon have to bail you out of the hole you’ve dug for yourself.’

‘No surprise there then. She just parrots everything that comes out of my mother’s mouth. Sad that she can’t develop her own world views.’ I keep my tone blasé, but I’m a little deflated by this.

‘Sorry, Lex.’

‘Don’t be. It is what it is. We’ve both been let down, but we have each other.’

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