Page 61 of Take a Moment

‘And you’re amazing.’

‘Mmm…’ I bob my head from side to side in a non-committal way. ‘…I’m not sure I’d go that far.’

‘Modest too.’ He raises an eyebrow. ‘Is there no limit to your good qualities?’

How about a deteriorating central nervous system? Or a possible future in a wheelchair? As this flicker of negativity flits through my mind, I’m so shocked I have to catch my breath.

‘You OK?’ Matt looks concerned. ‘Not choking on the animal feed?’

‘Oh… no, I’m fine. Just a twinge of pain. Overdid the running, I think. Seem to have injured my knee.’

‘Sorry to hear that. I wondered if you were trying to distract me from giving you compliments.’ He pauses thoughtfully. ‘It might be too soon to mention this, but one of my mates at the bar with me the other night is in a band. It’s a semi-professional set-up. They play decent-sized weekend gigs, make all right money on the side, rehearse in a proper studio. They’re looking for a lead vocalist – someone who can sing the likes of the Killers, in fact. He wanted to know if you’d be interested in auditioning?’

I purse my lips, aware that yet another commitment is not what I need when I’m trying to keep my health stable. Being far from ready to share my circumstances with Matt (which would undoubtedly send him scarpering for his beloved hills), I attempt to divert the conversation by mirroring his humour.

‘You’re right, it is too soon.’

‘OK, sure.’ Matt half-shrugs.

I immediately feel guilty as hell. ‘I’m only joking. Just playing you at your own game – and realising that was a stupid thing to do.’

Matt chuckles and shakes his head. ‘Shall we start again?’

‘That would be good.’

‘I’m Matt. Great to meet you.’ He sticks out his hand and I burst out laughing, then shake it.

‘Alex. It’s a pleasure.’

‘So. The band?’ he prompts. ‘Or should I go back to pleasantries?’

‘No, please don’t go there. Who knows where we’ll end up.’

We slug at our drinks and it feels like the awkwardness is finally starting to lift.

‘I think…’ I look out the window at the twinkling city lights, wondering how to politely decline ‘…it sounds amazing. But being perfectly honest, I’m not sure I’m good enough and I get stage fright. I probably couldn’t make the commitment right now anyway.’

‘The commitment issue I can’t help with. But having seen you, you’d get over the nerves quickly, and you need to dispel any doubts as to your talent. When I said my mate wondered if you fancied auditioning, what he actually said was “Matt, if you know her, you need to get her to my rehearsal studio – whatever it takes”.’

‘That would be a lovely compliment if it didn’t sound a little sinister.’

‘Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have shared it verbatim.’ Matt swirls the ice round in his drink. ‘But you weren’t responding to the diluted version.’

‘True. Well, thank you, that is high praise. But as much as that would be like my younger self’s dream come true, I’m just not sure I can. My job is full on. I’ve just been nominated for their leadership talent development scheme, which is going to be all-consuming.’

‘Wow. I really am in the presence of a superstar. I thought you had to drink two pints of blood, sacrifice a llama and master an impossible handshake to get on corporate schemes like that.’

I snigger with amusement. I love Matt’s quick-witted responses and how he keeps me on my toes with his slick banter (when he’s not getting all tongue-tied like me).

‘That may be the case in some places but the company I work for is actually really great. So is my manager. Can’t believe how lucky I’ve been.’

‘I’m sure luck is only a small part of it.’

‘It’s not, believe me. Back in Glasgow, I would have had to develop superhuman abilities to have made it on their talent programme. Though I did have a challenging role and other development opportunities, until…’ I trail off, realising I’m about to stray into difficult territory.

This has the effect of reminding me that while Matt has taken the ‘play no games’ oath, I’m not being completely up front with him. I don’t think I can be – not yet anyway. I chew my lip and stare out the window distractedly.

‘Hey, where did you go?’ Matt reaches over and places his hand on my forearm gently.

---