Page 46 of Take a Moment

I pause in front of a glass cabinet containing an intriguing range of gold and silver samples that the factory workshop used to make. ‘Don’t be sorry. It’s probably true. Dom and I worked well because we never dwelled on anything. We considered ourselves quite resilient. It seems naïve now, because as much as it’s not healthy to wallow, it’s equally unhealthy to never face up to issues. As soon as things got a bit tough, we crumbled.’

‘I’m sorry. I really liked Dom. I’m also sorry I suggested a few months ago that you drove him away. That was unfair. I just didn’t want you to leave.’

‘I know that, Sash. No need to apologise. I’ve admitted that I didn’t face up to things. So in a way, you were right. I did drive him away.’

I look at the floor, expecting the familiar sadness and empty Dom-shaped hole I’ve been holding together with metaphorical sticky tape to burst open again. But the tape stays intact. Surprised by this, I do a self-check. Am I over Dom? No, I can’t be. Not fully. Not yet. But something has changed. As this thought works its way through my brain, it’s chased closely by another. The man from the train. Matt. With his gorgeous penetrating brown eyes, his endearing inquisitive nature. And his defeated look in the bar just a few weeks ago.

‘What is it?’ Sasha asks. ‘Something’s bothering you, I can tell.’

I look at her blankly, then come to. ‘It’s… nothing. Nothing at all.’

I move on to another exhibit, pretending to be fascinated by its contents.

‘Lex, come on. I’ve known you almost all our lives. Have you… met someone?’

A hot flush creeps up my neck. ‘No.Why would you say that?’

‘Because the look on your face there wasexactlythe one I’ve seen every time you’ve met a guy you like – Dom included.’

‘No, it wasn’t.’

‘Yes. It was. Who is he?’ She bounces up and down impatiently.

I roll my eyes at her overenthusiasm, aware that she’ll be very disappointed by the anticlimax I’m about to deliver.

‘Sash, there’s nothing to get excited about. I met a guy on the train. Twice actually. He was sitting opposite me and we got talking. He then asked me out and I said no. End of.’

She scrutinises me intensely. ‘Why did you say no if you clearly like him?’

‘I don’t…’ I realise I can’t fool her. ‘OK, look, I took his number but I didn’t call him. Just didn’t think it was a good idea, being so soon after Dom and I split up. I was still a bit broken from that.’

This, of course, is a half-truth. It was about Dom at first, but then it was about my MS. After the stairs up from the platform half-killed me.

‘Fair enough. And?’

‘And nothing. That’s it, story over. Told you there’s nothing to get excited about.’

‘Nah, that’s not it. There’s something else you’re not telling me.’ Sasha manoeuvres herself between me and the exhibit, forcing me to make eye contact with her.

I let out an exasperated laugh, realising there’s no way I can put the blinkers on her.

‘I might have bumped into him in a bar after work.’

‘And?’

‘And he asked me why I didn’t call…’ I tail off as the memory starts chasing round my brain again.

‘AND?’ Sasha looks like she’s about to take off. ‘Lex. Will you just give me the whole story without me having to force every last bit out of you?’

I groan in surrender. ‘I met him again in a bar when I was out with my workmates. He asked why I didn’t call, and I said I’d been busy.’

‘But why reject him again if you obviously like him? The first time I understand, but you were a few weeks into things here. As you said yourself, you don’t dwell on the past. So why not have one date? See if the spark was real.’

I pick at a loose thread on my cuff, not wanting to admit the truth. Or say it out loud. I could try to maintain it was about Dom, but what would be the point? Sasha would see right through that facade.

‘Lex?’

I exhale theatrically, eyes to the ceiling. ‘I did it because it was for the best. I did him a favour, Sash.’

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