Page 36 of Take a Moment

‘All we need now is a resident Spanish speaker and we’ve got a full house. Anyone?’ I look round the table jovially. ‘No? Oh well, I’m sure Google Translate will come in handy there.’

‘Dhruv and I can speak Punjabi,’ Aadesh offers. ‘If there is ever the need.’

‘In this connected world, it’s good to have as many bases covered as possible.’ I grin at Aadesh, mentally filing away that piece of information.

‘Everyone pretty much speaks English anyway.’ Danielle divebombs the conversation and, seemingly without realising it, her own usefulness as a French speaker. ‘It’s people in the UK who are ignorant and don’t bother learning other languages. I, for one, have made it my personal mission to speak at least three languages fluently.’

She’s dying for me to ask which ones, but I can see that she’s deflating the positive and collaborative ambience at the table, so I decide to move things on.

‘Good for you.’ I give Danielle an acknowledging nod and sit myself down at the table. ‘Now, I hear the food at this place is great. What do you all recommend?’

‘Well handled,’ I hear Emmanuel whisper, as she takes her seat next to me.

Chapter 13

By the time I get back to my apartment that evening, I’m beyond exhausted. I kick off my trainers (which I wear to and from the office), dump my bag, and collapse onto my bed.

It’s not the same exhaustion I felt after returning to work from my sickness absence. My low-level MS symptoms are playing a part, as they now do every single day, but the overriding feeling is one of information overload. So many new names, new faces, new structures, processes and procedures. Overall, it seems like it will be a great place to work and I’m just desperate to get stuck in. I always hate having to be shown the ropes and getting up to speed; my natural instincts are to be in control and moving things forward. But it shouldn’t be more than a few days before I can take the project reins and get us off and running.

My relationship with Danielle, however, is going to be a different story. She spent much of lunch and the rest of the afternoon emitting her laser beam of superiority: her knowledge of the company, her apparent closeness to the chief executive, and her understanding of the project from the data analysis she’s completed so far. She’s going to be a royal pain in the arse. Nothing I can’t handle, but it is going to require careful managing, which has the capacity to zap my energy pretty quickly. I’m just so relieved she doesn’t know about my medical situation: a weapon I suspect she would use and abuse.

This is something I would ordinarily have discussed with Dom, keen to get his take on things and sharing that feeling of camaraderie. I feel a wave of sadness wash over me as the familiar Dom-shaped hole in my life opens up once again, and I realise that I have nobody to chew the Danielle issue over with. How isolated that makes me feel.

Unwilling to engage with this concept, and determined to think that I’m made of stronger stuff, I push the emptiness aside. Danielle is not going to take over my evening as well, so I turn on the TV to the six o’clock news headlines. I lie there for about twenty minutes, not really taking anything in but unable to muster the energy to do anything else. After a while, my mind starts to wander and lands on the memory of Matt from the train. He was so fun and charming, not to mention absolutely gorgeous. Did I overreact by binning his number? I clearly liked him, and we did have a connection. But our lives couldn’t have been further apart – he scales hills for fun while I can barely manage a flight of stairs. No.It was a non-starter.

Eventually I tear my thoughts away from Matt and drag myself off the bed and into the kitchen to make some food. Just as I’m preparing a tofu salad my phone starts to ring in my bag, so I pad through to the hallway and dig out my phone to see that the caller is Sasha. My first instinct is to let it go to voicemail. I’m just too tired to engage in any more conversation today. But there’s something inside me that just won’t let me do that. Instead I hit the answer button.

‘Sash, how you doing? Everything OK?’

Sasha’s bouncy yet anxious voice echoes in my ear canal. ‘Hiya, Lex. Everything’s fine. I just wanted to know how your first day went?’

‘It was fine.’ I rub my forehead exhaustedly, an automatic response to the high energy of Sasha’s side of the interaction.

‘Just fine?’

‘No, sorry, it was good. Really good.’

‘Tell me more. What were the people like?’

I return to my bedroom and lie back on the bed as I currently don’t have the stamina to stand and talk at the same time. I recap the day for Sasha, telling her Emmanuel and I are on the same wavelength and the rest of the team seem nice and capable. I also mention Danielle and the trouble she’s already causing.

‘Oh, Lex, that’s not good. You don’t need that with your…’ She trails off.

‘With my what?’ I instinctively challenge her.

There’s a silence, then a smaller voice comes down the line. ‘Nothing. Sorry, just ignore me.’

‘I’ll be fine, Sash. I get why you’re concerned, but you know me. I’m good at dealing with difficult people. Maybe not as exceptionally good as I was, but I’m still right up there. Way better than you,’ I add to punctuate the point, then immediately feel a pinch of shame at my meanness.

‘That’s not hard.’ The vibrancy returns to her voice and she giggles, taking no offence whatsoever. ‘Not sure there’s anyone who runs faster from conflict than me.’

‘Aww, you’re notthatbad.’

‘Bad enough that I’m too scared to broach the whole Birmingham thing with my mum.’

I grimace, wondering why Sasha still isn’t showing any sign of shutting this move thing down. ‘That’s different. Your mum’s ill.It will really affect her if you move.’ I pause and consider whether to go on. ‘Look, Sash, it’s lovely that you want to come and join me, but I’m not sure I should be your first priority. Your mum needs you much more than I do.’

There’s another silence at the end of the phone.

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