Page 33 of Take a Moment

‘Not at all.’ She sips at her coffee ‘You’ve done me a favour. I always feel guilty after the third slice.’

‘Sounds a bit like a win-win then.’

‘It definitely is. So, shall we get on to some work stuff then?’

‘Yes, please.’ I sit forward enthusiastically as I take a bite of panettone, which tastes like fluffy, buttery heaven. ‘I’m looking forward to getting stuck in.’

‘Great. The team are looking forward to meeting you. Most of them are in meetings all morning, but I’ve arranged for us to go for lunch today as a bit of a welcome. Hope that’s all right with you?’ She involuntarily glances at the panettone on the napkin in front of me.

‘That’s absolutely fine. Honestly, I’m not obsessed with healthy eating. Or if I am, I’ve just realised I need to stop it. Right now.’

Emmanuel laughs at my self-deprecation. ‘That’s great. We thought we’d go for Thai.’

‘Perfect. I love Thai food. Thanks for doing this.’

‘All part of helping you settle in. Building relationships and feeling part of the team is just as important as understanding the organisation and the work.’

I beam like a lighthouse as Emmanuel takes me through the company background, structure and where my role fits in. Despite knowing about my MS, she hasn’t led with that. She has treated me like any other new employee: someone with great potential, who simply needs the knowledge and tools to do the job. We talk about everything but my medical situation, to the point that I wonder if it’s even going to come up.

‘One last thing before we head over and meet the team…’ Emmanuel wipes some rogue panettone crumbs from her chin. ‘…let’s have a very quick chat about your medical situation – if you don’t mind?’

Despite all the reassurances I’ve received, I stiffen slightly. Not because I don’t trust Emmanuel – I’ve seen no reason not to so far – but because I’ve become so hypersensitised to being treated differently, this reaction is now automatic. Although I try to hide it by taking a mouthful of my cappuccino, Emmanuel picks up on it immediately.

‘If you’d rather not talk about it just now, that’s absolutely fine, Alex. We can do it whenever you’re ready.’

I silently curse myself for allowing this weakness to show through. I used to think I’d be a great poker player because of how easily I could let things bounce off me. Now, I realise, I’d be fleeced for every penny in the first game.

‘No, it’s fine, honestly.’ I attempt as genuine a smile as possible. ‘Let’s cover it off now.’

‘All right then…’ Emmanuel seems to consider her words very carefully. ‘Alex, I want to start with some reassurance. We recruit through New Horizons for a reason – and that reason is that we believe a truly great workplace only comes from having a diverse workforce. Ethical standards and seeing people as people are at the very heart of our operation. As you know, New Horizons specialises in finding the right fit for experienced professionals who have a long-term illness or disability that doesn’t affect their ability to do a great job – they just need a more flexible and supportive environment in which to do it.’

‘They’re really great.’ I nod. ‘I never once felt there was a focus on my medical situation.’

‘Which means they’re doing their job just as they should. And we will do ours. All I want to do today is review the arrangements we agreed when we were discussing your contract, and check that you haven’t thought of anything else we should consider. That’s it. Everything else will be managed as normal.’

‘OK, sure. Sounds good.’ I feel genuine relief on hearing this.

‘Great. Now, you’re working five days a week – two from home, and you’ll also work from home on an ad hoc basis where you feel you need to. Regarding sickness absence, we understand the relapsing-remitting nature of your condition may mean you have more regular periods of absence, and some that may be a bit extended. We accept that and we will arrange cover as required.’

‘This almost seems too good to be true.’

Emmanuel looks at me sincerely. ‘Sadly, in some ways it is, if you think about the UK workplace as a whole. But slowly, we are becoming less of an exception.’

‘I think your approach is amazing. The one thing it doesn’t help me with, though, is me.’ I chuckle briefly, then turn serious as the memories flood back. ‘I experienced a lot of guilt and frustration when I was off previously. I’m really driven, and not being able to do my job was like someone had tied my hands behind my back.’

‘It must be very difficult for you having to face physical limitations in a way you never have before; I could see from your CV that you’re a go-getter. Let’s just keep talking, and when the time comes, I’ll help you in any way I can.’

I flinch a little at the use of the term ‘when the time comes’. It’s a frank and certain statement – too much so for my liking. But I’d be kidding myself if I used the word ‘if’ – it’s inevitable I’ll have another relapse; I just have no idea when it will be. On top of that, it’s been explained to me how my more permanent symptoms can worsen under some circumstances, such as from colds and viral infections, or extreme stress and pressure.

‘Is that all right with you, Alex?’ Emmanuel prompts me.

I drag my mind back to the moment. ‘Sorry, yes. That works for me.’

‘Good. Just one final thing. As per your request, no one but myself, Sally, the HR consultant who also interviewed you, and the occupational health doctor is aware of your situation. It is completely confidential, and that situation will only change should you wish it to.’

‘That’s really important to me.’ I look her straight in the eye to accentuate this point. ‘So, thank you.’

‘I know it is. Now, shall we head back to the office?’

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