Page 43 of Take a Moment

‘I don’t believe that for a second. You won’t tell me what a crap friend I’ve been, so I’ll do it myself. I’ve been a crap friend. All you were trying to be was the loyal and bloody marvellous rock I actually truly need in my life.’

Sasha’s tears are receding, which tells me I’m on the right track, so to add some humour, I get out of my seat and kneel down beside her theatrically. ‘Sash, will you forgive me for being a selfish cow and let me be your bestie for life?’

Sasha looks down at me and starts to giggle. ‘Of course I will, silly.’

I get up and hug her, and raucous applause breaks out across the restaurant. Startled, we both turn round to discover it’s being directed at us: all the customers and staff are grinning broadly at us, a few of them even looking quite emotional.

‘Congratulations!’ a woman two tables down from us shouts, setting off the applause once again.

Sasha and I look at each other and blanch.

‘Do they…’ Sasha is wide-eyed with shock.

‘Umm… I think so.’

‘Right… and now?’

‘We have to just go with it.’ I straighten up and give a feeble wave of thanks, then sit back down in my seat as we try desperately to stifle the giggles that have overcome us. ‘Sash, get that down you fast. We need to get out of here before someone asks us when the wedding’s going to be.’

Back at my apartment, we get comfy on my enormous sofa, which (like most of my furniture) I was fortunate enough to hold onto following my split from Dom.

‘That food was amazing.’ Sasha rubs her stomach contentedly at the memory. ‘How is it though that I’m really full, but I still have a hankering for something sweet? Got any dessert in that fridge?’

I screw up my face as I try to visualise whether there’s anything in my kitchen that might semi-resemble dessert. ‘I’m afraid the best I can do is dried fruit and mixed unsalted nuts.’

‘Yeah, that’s not going to cut it. Ooh, I know… I have some chocolate in my bag.’

She pads through to my bedroom, then reappears in the doorway waving a bag of mini Toblerones in front of her.

‘They’re basically just chocolate-coated nuts.’ She gives me a devilish look.

‘Chuck it across.’

Sasha launches the bag in my direction and I brace myself to catch it. But I misjudge the trajectory, and my clumsy attempt to save the situation results in an empty mug being knocked off the coffee table and breaking into pieces.

‘Shit.’ I tentatively pick up the bits. ‘Forgot I can’t catch any more.’

Sasha starts to laugh, then, realising I’m referring to my lack of coordination caused by my MS, she bites her lip guiltily to cover it up.

I glance up at her and smile. ‘It’s OK to laugh. Itwasfunny. We need to find some humour in this nonsense.’

Expecting this to relax Sasha, I’m shocked when she suddenly bursts into tears.

‘Hey…’ I cross the room and put my arms round her. ‘What’s going on? Please don’t get upset. I told you, we need to laugh – otherwise this happens.’

‘Ama-no-crian-coz-a-tha,’ Sasha mumbles miserably into my shoulder.

‘Sorry, what? I can’t make out a word you’re saying.’

‘It’s… not… that.’ She lets out a half-shudder-half-hiccup as I release her and hold her at arm’s length. ‘I’m just… it upsets me so much that you’re getting on with things, accepting no help. When my mum… she’s selfishly taking the kind of support people who are ill like you need and deserve, and there’s not a damn thing wrong with her.’

I take in my best friend’s face, reading the hurt she’s feeling from what she considers to be the ultimate injustice.

‘Aww, Sash.’ I pull her back in for another hug as she dissolves into tears once more. ‘I totally get why you feel that way, but life isn’t fair. I don’t need the kind of help your mum’s taking, and I don’t want it. I intend to stay independent for as long as I bloody well can. Be angry at your mum for how she’s hurt you, not how you think she’s hurting me, because she’s not. Yeah?’

‘Ah-sapo-sat-mahks-shens.’

‘I’m going to take that as you accept and agree with what I say.’ I chuckle, patting her on the back affectionately.

---