Page 19 of Take a Moment

As I continue along the pavement, passing by one smombie after another, I’m suddenly inspired to make a change to the lyrics of the song I wrote. I stop momentarily to punch it into my notepad app, then quietly sing back the words I’ve written, ensuring no one can hear me.

‘Just take a moment, open up your eyes, look beyond your gadgets, lift your disguise.’

It’s a pleasant distraction from the nervous churning in my stomach and the awareness that, whenever I try to up my pace, my body resists these instructions like a stubborn mule.

Eventually I reach my office and climb the steps towards the main entrance, my legs feeling like lead, providing an unwelcome reminder that I’m about to face the unknown. Is that the nagging feeling I’m having? No, that’s not it. It will be tough getting back into the game, but I’m determined, and I’ve got a medical opinion that supports my ability to do so.

‘Alex. So good to see you back.’ My manager, Laura, gives me an unexpected but not unwelcome hug when I reach my desk. ‘We’ve missed you.’

‘That’s good to know.’ I hug her back, then turn to dump my bag under my desk. ‘Oh, looks like someone’s sitting here. Was there a desk move while I was away?’

I look around and note that all my other colleagues seem to be sitting in their usual places.

‘Sorry, I should have said.’ Laura’s face is apologetic. ‘Alan’s sitting there. Didn’t make sense us having to shout across the desks to each other all the time.’

‘Right.’ I try not to show that this has bothered me. ‘So, I guess he can move back now then.’

‘Why don’t you put your stuff over at Alan’s desk? We’ve got a catch-up in the diary anyway.’

‘We have?’

This is news to me. I checked my calendar on my work phone before leaving my apartment and there were no meeting requests pending.

‘Yes, I thought we’d go for a coffee and a chat.’

‘Sure, sounds good.’

I’m pleased that Laura’s prioritising me. This is exactly what I need – to throw myself into things, take the focus off my medical situation and more importantly, get Alan packed back off to assistant project manager-land.

‘Shall we?’ Laura grabs her purse from her handbag and gestures in the direction of the lifts.

We engage in light-hearted chit-chat about the latest Netflix box sets we’ve gotten hooked on as we make our way down to the brightly lit office cafe. Then, drinks in hand, we find a table at the furthest corner by the floor-to-ceiling windows to allow us some privacy.

‘How are you feeling?’ Laura ditches a sachet of sugar into her coffee and gives it a good stir.

‘I’m fine.’ I sip at my own drink. ‘Just so pleased to be back.’

‘I bet you are. You must have been going stir crazy stuck at home, especially with the active lifestyle you normally lead.’

‘Itwasfrustrating, but it’s in the past now – thankfully. What’s the latest on the project? I assume Alan knows I’m back today. It must have been a lot of pressure on him having to step up like that.’

Laura hesitates mid-sip, like she’s weighing up how to answer.

‘What’s up?’ I ask. ‘You can tell me about Alan. I need to know what’s been going on so I can help him develop.’

‘Alex.’ Laura places her coffee on the table. ‘Alan has done just fine. He’s had some moments of uncertainty and has inevitably made mistakes, but he and I have gotten to a good place. A lot like the way you and I did when you were learning.’

An air raid siren starts blaring in my head. What’s with the speech? And the reminder of my humble professional roots? What should be most relevant here is that I have a wealth of experience that Laura can draw on with confidence that I’ll be on it, whatever ‘it’ is. Why do I have a looming feeling that I’m about to hear something I really won’t like?

Laura picks up on the ticking in my brain and takes the conversation in a different direction.

‘Alex, I don’t want us to move on to work too quickly. As your manager, I have a duty of care to you. It’s important we discuss your wellbeing, so I can support you in the best way possible. Let’s have a chat about how you’re doing.’

‘What? Oh, come on, Laura. This is you and me. We’ve worked together for ages. Surely we don’t have to go through that stuff.’

‘Actually, we do. You’ve been off for a significant period with a not insignificant health issue that, although you say it’s in the past, is not a one-off event. You also had an accident at work related to your condition—’

‘I slipped on a piece of paper.’

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