Page 14 of Take a Moment

Flattening my palm against the red sandstone facade of our West End tenement building, I enjoy the warmth it’s soaked up from the morning sun: a feeling I’ve always loved, and partly why I had my heart set on one of these apartments. Will that now have to change? It would be gut-wrenching to have to give up our place after it took so long to find, all because there’s no lift. But I also don’t want to be housebound for weeks on end every time I have one of these relapses.

Feeling suddenly weighed down by these life-altering thoughts, I shift my focus back to something more pragmatic: how the hell am I going to get up these stairs? As much as it pains me to give in, I need to swallow the bloody great lump of pride I’m stubbornly chewing on and accept that I can’t cope on my own – just until my symptoms remit.

‘Hey… kitten. Are you all right?’ Dom appears out of nowhere, jogging up the path behind me.

‘I’m admitting defeat just this once.’

‘I did wonder if you’d manage.’ He unlocks the door, then scoops me up into his arms.

‘Hey, that’s not what I meant!’ I waggle inelegantly in his arms.

‘I know.’ He pulls me towards him and kisses my nose. ‘But I like the idea of being your handsome prince. You’re so independent. Let me have my moment.’

I take in his gorgeous, smiling face. His bluest of blue twinkling eyes and cheeky grin. A personality that can light up any room.

‘Fine. You can play the hero today – as long as I get to be me the rest of the time.’

‘Deal.’ Dom grins at me. ‘It’s a bit soon to be carrying you over the threshold, but this might be the only chance I get.’

A few hours later, I’m camped out on my enormous sofa watching an episode ofBig Little Lieswhen the apartment buzzer sounds.

‘I’ll let her in,’ Dom calls from the bedroom, where he’s tidying up. ‘Just you stay where you are.’

Having decided the less physical effort I have to put into anything right now, the better, I don’t argue. Staying still means I don’t have the constant, conscious reminder that my body has embarked on a bewildering and relentless pursuit of self-destruction.

‘Lex. Oh hon, how are you?’ Sasha bursts through the living room door and launches herself on me with a massive hug.

‘I’m OK.’ I hug her back, feeling her squeeze even harder in response.

‘I cana-buluf-ahapae-naufa,’ she wails into the sleeve of my hooded sweater.

‘What was that?’ I attempt to pry her off me, but my arm muscles burn in protest. ‘Sash, I’ve no idea what you’re saying.’

‘You weren’t really supposed to.’ She sits up and dabs at her eyes. ‘I just feel so angry for you and so hurt and powerless. It’s not fair.’

‘Life isn’t fair. But we’ll get through this together, right?’

‘We will. I can’t change that you’re ill, but I can make sure I’m there when you need help, support, carried up the stairs, anything.’

‘There’s no way you could carry me up the stairs.’ I chuckle. ‘Even Dom struggled earlier. Not that he’d admit it, the silly sod.’

‘I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.’ Dom enters the room with his jacket on.

I blow him a little kiss. ‘Is that you off to the supermarket?’

‘Yeah. Got your list. Though I note there’s a glaring lack of chocolate on it. Can I really not tempt you into a little treat after everything you’ve been through?’

‘Definitely not.’ I shake my head.

‘Can you get me some?’ Sasha asks.

I catch her giving him a little wink, clearly meant as a message of once-I’m-eating-it-she’ll-have-some-too. I don’t know why, but this irritates me.

‘Sure,’ Dom replies with a warm smile. ‘OK, see you ladies in a bit. Have fun.’

He disappears back out of the living room and seconds later the apartment door slams.

‘So, how are you really?’ Sasha pulls off her ankle boots and makes herself comfortable on the sofa beside me. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the hospital.’

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