Page 95 of The Gin Lover's Guide to Dating

‘I know that you’ve had some challenges, Liv.’ Amir’s tone softens slightly. ‘And as your friend I’ve supported you, and I really hope you can work them out. But the problem is, I’m also now your manager. I realise the impact this will have for you financially and beyond, but I’m afraid I have no choice but to let you go.’

As he says the words I am already expecting, it does nothing to soften the blow. I’ve just been fired for the second time in a matter of months. The first time at McArthur Cohen may not technically have been a dismissal, but that’s absolutely how it felt. And while back then it was due to circumstances beyond my control, now it is very much of my own doing.

‘Right.’ I sit back in my seat resignedly. ‘I totally understand. I’d do the same if I were in your position. So, what happens next?’

‘I’ll accompany you to your locker to get your things.’ Amir looks deeply pained as he says this. ‘Then I’ll escort you out of the hotel. That’s company policy, I’m afraid. Just as it is to have two departmental managers at any dismissal.’ He nods in the direction of Josh, as if to explain his presence.

‘OK, well, I guess let’s get it over with.’ I chew on my bottom lip anxiously.

‘Before I do,’ says Amir. ‘I just need to see to something urgent. I’ll be back soon.’

To my surprise, Amir gets up and walks out of the room, leaving me alone with Josh, who continues to stare at the floor and say nothing. The tension in the room is almost unbearable, making it feel more like a prison cell than a workspace. I realise that Amir has left on purpose, to let us have a few moments alone before I go. Knowing I must take this opportunity, I look directly across the table at Josh, but he still refuses to meet my gaze.

‘Josh?’

He doesn’t respond.

‘Josh, please,’ I plead with him. ‘I’m sorry. I know I’ve been an idiot, and I’ve embarrassed you. But that doesn’t need to affect us.’

I reach over and try to take his hand, but he pulls it away forcefully, causing me to gasp in shock.

‘You think this doesn’t affectus?’ His eyes lift and meet mine defiantly.

‘It doesn’t have to,’ I say in a small voice.

‘OK, then how about you tell me this. Why didn’t I know about the blog? I thought you and I were getting close. But you obviously didn’t trust me because you hid it from me.’

‘I… no, that’s not it…’ I realise I don’t have an answer to this. ‘I guess… I needed as few people as possible to know about it to stay anonymous. And it would have put you in a difficult position if you knew. I wouldn’t have wanted you to feel conflicted. It was my risk, not yours. If you’d known, you might have gotten into trouble too.’

‘Wasn’t that my decision to make?’ He continues to stare me out till I can’t bear it any longer and look away. ‘I could have helped you to protect your anonymity better by reading through your posts before you published them. I could have suggested changes.’

‘Wait.’ I gaze at him in astonishment. ‘You would have supported me?’

‘Of course, I would.’ He shakes his head defeatedly, and I realise that he’s really hurting. ‘I really thought we had something special, Liv. I would have been one hundred per cent behind you, but you never gave me the chance.’

I struggle to comprehend what he’s saying. He’s also hurt to a level I can’t quite connect with my actions.

‘Who knew about it?’ he asks. ‘Whodidyou share it with?’

‘Just Dylan.’ I decide there’s no way I’m putting Reyes in the firing line. ‘He came up with the idea of doing a blog. But it was me who had the idea of using the bar as inspiration.’

‘Right. Just your best pal. That figures.’ Josh’s words suggest understanding, but his tone and body language betray a victim, deeply hurt.

‘Josh.’ I shake my head, and place my palms on the table, trying to figure out what’s not fitting in this picture. ‘I get that you’re hurt that I didn’t tell you about it. And I know I’ve put you in an awkward position as my senior manager. But that’s it. That’s all it is.’

Josh’s eyes lock on mine.

‘Is it, Liv?’ His tone is suddenly a lot more cutting. ‘Is that all? There’s nothing else you need to tell me? Just while we’re laying everything out in the open.’

I shift awkwardly in my seat, as I realise there’s more to come.

‘Wh… what do you mean, Josh?’

His eyes are overflowing with hurt.

‘I mean your pal,GrahamLeeton. He’s not an old friend from university, is he?’

I flinch as he says the words. How does he know that? Where is this even going?

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