Page 44 of The Gin Lover's Guide to Dating

Carelessly placing my drink in front of me, causing some of the contents to slop over the sides, Dylan takes a glug from his pint, pulls out a chair and sits down. In my unease with his behaviour, I forget the introductions.

‘Amir.’ Amir sticks out his hand, and he and Dylan share a blokey handshake. ‘Good to meet you, mate. And this is Reyes.’

‘Hola.’ Reyes gives him a little wave.

‘Great to meet you both.’ Dylan grins at them.

His eyes linger on Reyes. He obviously thinks she’s as hot as I described her, and she’s probably the reason for his sudden appearance – and choice of attire. I make a mental note to warn him that she’s very much taken, in case he doesn’t spot the huge rock on her finger.

‘Nice to see Liv hanging out with some decent people for a change,’ says Dylan. ‘Not like the twats she used to drink with.’

I grimace again, but Amir and Reyes simply nod in plain agreement.

‘We had the pleasure of meeting them earlier,’ says Amir. ‘When they dropped by the bar.’

‘What? Why were they in the bar?’ Dylan looks at me, confused. ‘You didn’t invite them there, did you?’

‘No, I didn’t,’ I say. ‘They turned up unexpectedly. Must have just wanted to try the place. They definitely had no idea I was working there.’

‘Balls.’ Dylan gives me a sympathetic look. ‘They know then?’

‘Yes, they know.’ I sigh. ‘And it seems that’s the end of those friendships. Anya was the biggest let-down. She was the one person I thought I had something really strong with.’

‘Sorry, Squirt.’ Dylan ruffles my hair, causing me to duck out of his reach in embarrassment. ‘But seriously, it’s probably the best thing. You needed rid of those poncey twats. All they cared about was themselves. They weren’t proper friends. Not like me – and Amir and Reyes here.’

Amir and Reyes both raise an eyebrow at me, causing me to redden. I give them a warning look. They simultaneously drink from their pints to cover up their amusement.

‘Well, I’m not exactly rejoicing the way my social and professional connections just bombed.’ I rub my forehead absently. ‘And you could put it a little more delicately, Dylan. But, you’re probably right that I’m better off without them. Now, let’s change the subject.’

For the next hour and a half, we chat away about nothing and everything. Despite my concerns about Dylan joining us, he seems to warm to Reyes and Amir in a way that he never did with my previous ‘friends’. As we talk, laugh, and tease each other, I have a comforting sense that I find difficult to place. It’s like being at home. But home was never a happy place for me. I begin to withdraw from the conversation; becoming more and more distracted, as I frustratedly try and fail to catch the thread of this memory. Suddenly it hits me.

Itishome. But not the home I grew up in: with the shouting and swearing, and the treading on eggshells. Where day after day, my mum retreated further and further into herself – and the bottle. It’s from the home I made with Dylan. Where we played in the woods at the back of the estate, or had marathon pool competitions in the Broken Arms, on the days when my dad was in the nick for yet another drunken brawl. Home wasn’t a physical place: it was in the companionship and the laughter. It was in the rare moments when I was away from my actual physical home, and I could forget it even existed. This is where I am now. I’m not just away from that broken world of my childhood. I am also away from the falsities I had created in my life in order to fit in and feel validated in the corporate world. I’m homehere– and this is where I want to be.

‘Guys, I’ve just had an epiphany,’ I announce.

Dylan, Reyes and Amir immediately cease their banter and regard me quizzically.

‘What does this mean… epi-ta-ny?’ Reyes asks.

‘I thought that was a date in January,’ says Dylan.

‘Epiphany,’ Amir corrects them both. ‘It’s a moment of clarity. Of realisation.’

‘Ah,muy bien.’ Reyes suddenly looks excited. ‘And what is your realisation, Chica?’

‘It’s that you’re right. You’re all right. I’ve been so obsessed with my corporate career that I’ve sacrificed things that are important. Like friendships. And fun.Realfun. I don’t know when I last had such a great time as here, just now! Or laughed so much. Which is strange, given I just experienced one of the worst nights of my life as well…’

I pause for a moment to ponder this thought.

‘I mean, the nights out I had before were enjoyable,’ I continue. ‘They were high-end and high-energy. They made me feel like I’d made it and I fitted in. But they were so… predictable. The same work-related chat. The same limited innuendo-charged banter. But this… this is amazing. All of us together. We justclick. I can just be me. This is the kind of social life I want…’

I turn to Dylan, who has been strangely quiet, just watching me. ‘Dylan, I’m so sorry. You’ve been my one true friend all this time, but I’ve pushed you away, thinking I should have something different. You’ve been so patient… so understanding. I’m not sure I deserved that. Thank you. Thanks, all of you, for making me wake up.’

My three friends all now gape at me in surprise, and then Amir and Reyes look at Dylan to gauge his reaction to my apology.

‘No worries.’ He just shrugs easily. ‘You were never gonna get rid of me. No matter how hard you tried.’

I get up and give him a whopping great hug to make up for all my ungratefulness over the past ten or so years. He looks surprised, but gallantly says nothing, and just hugs me back.

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