Page 99 of The Gin Lover's Guide to Dating

‘Sparkling, please.’ I smile politely at her. ‘With ice and a wedge of fresh lime if you can.’

The waitress stares at me with a bored face, then walks off. There’s one possibility for my new blog site right there.

Once the grumpy waitress has grudgingly delivered my drink, I sit back and take in my surroundings. There’s a female same-sex couple sitting side-by-side near the bar, completely engrossed in each other, giggling away. I feel a little pang of jealousy as I think how nice it would be to have someone I felt that way about. For a moment, my mind wanders to Graham, but I catch it quickly, acutely aware that I need to stay focused. While they are clearly relationship role models, I decide this couple don’t inspire me to write. My eyes roam past groups of work colleagues and friends; eventually landing on a rather frisky couple sitting in the far corner. Bingo. Exactly what I need.

Presently glued together by the mouth, I can’t see much of them, but one thing’s clear: they’re not shy – my favourite source of inspiration. I surreptitiously observe them as they continue to devour each other; hoping they’ll come up for air soon, to give me something to work with. As I glance towards them once more, the surly waitress stalks past and clocks the direction of my gaze.

‘Mingin’ eh?’ She huffs. ‘Don’t know why they bother leavin’ the house. Like I wanna look at that all night.’

I chuckle to myself. Thank you, surly waitress. You’ve just given me the beginnings of something to work with.

After about ten minutes of steamy snogging, the couple finally pull apart. I take in their faces and feel the colour drain from my face. It’s Dylan and Reyes.

‘What the…’ Without thinking, I jump up and march determinedly across the bar towards them. ‘You two aresobusted.’

Having failed to notice my approach, they’re completely caught off guard.

‘Squirt! Balls! Didn’t realise this is one of your new haunts.’ Dylan’s face starts to colour. ‘You know Reyes, right?’

‘Hilarious, Dylan.’ I shoot him a withering look.

Reyes, who isn’t remotely fazed by being rumbled cheating on her husband, hops off her seat and greets me with her usual continental kisses.

‘Chica. This is surprise! Nice surprise. You are good, yes?’

‘Yes, thanks.’ I’m now standing with my hands on my hips. ‘But I hardly think that I’m the surprise in all of this. How did… what’s going on… I mean…spill. Every last detail. Now!’

‘I’m not sure you wanteverylast detail.’ Dylan gives me a cheeky wink.

‘You know what I mean.’ I flash him my death stare, wondering how he can be so blasé about getting caught with a married woman – and my good friend.

‘Chica, please. You must sit.’ Reyes sits back down and pats the cushion next to her.

‘Let me get my stuff first,’ I mutter.

I return to my table to retrieve my jacket, bag and drink that I irresponsibly abandoned because of the shock, then join them once more.

‘Is that… mineral water?’ Dylan asks.

‘I can’t afford anything else,’ I grumble.

‘Let me get you something stronger.’ He signals for the waitress. ‘Think you need it. Anything you want.’

Annoyed that Dylan has clearly been hiding this from me, while all the time lecturing me on my own questionable romantic choices, I decide he owes me one.

‘OK. I’ll have a Gin Fizz.’ I fix a smug that’ll-teach-you-to-keep-secrets smile on my face.

He instinctively scans the open drinks menu on the table, and his face pains. ‘That costs nearly a tenner. For one drink. Not lost your taste for that poncey shit, I see.’

‘You said I could have anything I want.’ I shift my look to angelic. ‘And that’s what I want. Are you going to change your mind?’

The touchy waitress finally appears, regarding me with confusion. ‘You know these two?’

‘Unfortunately, I do.’ I smile at her and shrug.

‘Poor you.’ She throws a filthy look in the direction of Dylan and Reyes.

‘Customer service really isn’t your thing, is it?’ I laugh.

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