Page 63 of The Gin Lover's Guide to Dating

‘Sort of.’ I smile and feel my cheeks start to heat up. ‘I got a text from Josh. Was just replying.’

‘Ah, this is excellent news!’ Reyes claps her hands together in glee. ‘I am so happy I trick you. Romancing is essential for living. Like alcohol. We need both to survive.’

As she says this, a thought pops into my mind.

‘Oh, I totally forgot to tell you!’

‘You forget to tell me what?’ Reyes asks.

‘About my new blog. Dylan helped me set it up so I can try and make some extra money. It’s a secret though. You can’t tell anyone. It’s just a bit of fun – writing about dating and gin. I’m using this place as a source of inspiration.’

‘Chica! You are using your talents? I am so happy for hearing this. Show me. I tell no one.’

I pull my phone out of my bag – noting that Josh hasn’t yet responded – navigate to my blog page and hand the phone to Reyes. She sits down on one of the seats, immediately engrossed.

What do you get when you cross gin and dating?

This is not a riddle. Although you’d be forgiven for suggesting ‘a love of alcohol’ or ‘bad judgement’ – particularly if your romantic encounters are as excruciating as some of those I witness.

I work in a bar, where gin and dating have become a huge part of my life – other people dating, not me – and I’ve found a curious and exciting link between the two: They fascinate me, and I can write about them together. So here goes…

Yesterday, while concocting a deliciously classic Singapore Sling – made with gin, cherry liqueur, Cointreau, Benedictine, grenadine, pineapple juice, fresh lime juice, and a dash of Angostura bitters – I happened to glance at the revolving door, and spotted a terrified-looking man (boy? – although he passed the ID check) skulking into the bar, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. He was short, with hair from the nineties (curtains, I think they called them), bad skin and facial hair a fifteen-year-old boy could easily compete with. He seemed so tortured, it made me wonder why he’d even put himself through such discomfort. He would have looked less out of place at a toddler’s birthday party.

All became clear when his date showed up. There’s bombshells and then there’s this woman: tall, oozing elegance, a body any girl would sell her granny for, mountainous cleavage, and with a mane of blonde hair and big pouty lips. It was like heaven had thrown up, and this was what it produced.

Of course, you must see the issue straight away. How can she be meeting him? Did he use a different photo online and now he’s hoping she won’t notice?

Riveted, I could only half-focus on the next order – luckily a simple Pink Gin, a drink with a real bitter kick, best made with Plymouth Gin and a dash of Angostura bitters – as the introductions commenced. She’d recognised him, so my fake photo theory was out the window.

What followed was even more confounding. Once he’d packed away a few G&Ts he was on a roll. The conversation was flowing, intellectual, with endless humorous banter – and she was hooked. Having expected this to be the shortest date in history, I had to throw the two of them out at closing time. And that was difficult, because it almost involved having to surgically remove her tongue from this throat.

The most baffling experience, but proof that opposites really can attract. It’s so refreshing to see that it’s not always the hot beefcakes who win the Bond girl.

This week’s gin recommendation, inspired by these two lovebirds, is another unlikely pairing: try a garnish of tomato and basil with your next Friday G&T. It might sound like a salad gone wrong, but then you probably didn’t think my alternative Romeo and Juliet would work out either.

Looking forward to your verdicts!

As Reyes gradually scrolls down the post, I hold my breath in anticipation, awaiting her appraisal of my work. Dylan may have enjoyed it, but Reyes is more representative of my target market. She finishes reading and then looks up at me.

‘You really write this?’

‘I did it yesterday.’ I nod. ‘What do you think?’

‘I think that you are genius. This is amazing.’ Reyes is wide-eyed. ‘I am finding this funny and interesting. I know about gin, yes, but if I do not, I am wanting to try these drinks.’

‘You really like it?’ I ask.

‘I do not just like it. I am loving it!’ Reyes jumps up and gives me a huge hug. ‘Felicitaciones, Chica. You will be big success.’

‘Oh, I’m so glad.’ I beam with relieved pride. ‘I was quite pleased with it, but you never really know.’

‘You have any commenting by your readers?’

‘You know.’ I rub my forehead. ‘With all the distraction with my impromptu date last night, I never thought to check that. Check for me?’

Still holding my phone, Reyes scrolls further down my blog page, then gasps.

‘Chica! You have many comments already. And…’ She’s silent for a few moments as she scans down them. ‘They are liking your post. Look.’

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