Page 42 of The Gin Lover's Guide to Dating

I sit back, emotionally drained, and take another long swig of my drink. I’m relieved to have been able to talk openly to someone other than Dylan, but I’m anxious about the reaction I’ll get. The wait, although only seconds long, feels long and heavy.

Amir is the first to speak.

‘That’s one hell of a roller coaster you’ve been on in the last few months, Liv. I’m not surprised you feel the way you do. That’s enough to blow a bloody great hole in anyone’s confidence; though not everyone would be big enough to admit it.’

‘I am agreeing with Amir.’ Reyes nods decisively. ‘This is very difficult time for you. You do not have family to help you?’

‘No. I don’t have a relationship with my mum, and…’ I hesitate, realising that although I’m opening up, I definitely don’t want to go down this route. ‘I just… I feel like a total failure.’

‘Why do you feel this?’ Reyes asks.

‘Because I’vefailed. Simple as that.’ I look at her as if this is obvious. ‘I was basically sacked, I can’t get a new job, and my ex-colleagues think I’m a loser.’

‘No way are you a loser.’ Amir shakes his head in rejection of my statement. ‘Look at what you’ve achieved in your life. Way more than me, that’s for sure. You’ll get back on track. You just need to rebuild your confidence.’

‘How do I do that?’ I massage my temples wearily.

‘I know how you can do this.’ Reyes touches my arm. ‘You must care about more than work – and money. You must not let other people decide if you have success. You must create your success. Not just from work and money. Why do you think that only work and money are important?’

‘I… err… because…’ I stumble to reply.

‘You’ll no’ fit in, so don’t bother yer backside tryin’.’

I try to push the unwelcome inner criticism away, unwilling to share the depths of my inner dysfunction with my new friends.

‘I…err… guess… it must have been drilled into us in school.’

‘Then, this school is as useful as chocolate in a teapot.’ Reyes throws her arms up in frustration.

‘You mean: as useful as a chocolate teapot,’ Amir corrects her.

‘That is what I say, Amir.’ Reyes throws him a sideways look. ‘Why you always repeat me?’

I share an amused smile with Amir, who just shrugs, shaking his head.

‘Chica.’ Reyes takes my hands and looks me straight in the eye. ‘You must find something more in your life. You must live for more than work and money. And you must understand how important friends are. Real friends. You should not be alone with this.’

‘I’ve not been completely alone,’ I say. ‘There’s a guy I know; I went to school with him. He… well, he sort of hangs around. Does the tough-love approach. That’s quite hard to stomach sometimes, though.’

‘He is stalking you?’ Reyes looks at me with consternation.

‘If he is, I can have him dealt with.’ Amir sits up in his seat boldly.

‘Little man. Please.’ Reyes laughs loudly, causing me to choke on my drink in amusement. ‘I will be dealing with this stalker better than you.’

‘All right.’ Amir puts on a mock-offended tone. ‘Just one height-related joke per night please. You’ll give me a complex.’

‘No, sorry, you both misunderstand me.’ I put my hand up, trying to control my giggles. ‘He’s not an actual stalker. He’s just… someone from my past who never went away.’

Just as I say this, my phone starts to ring. Wondering who could possibly be calling me at 11.15 p.m., I pull my phone out of my handbag. As if he’s psychic – it’s Dylan. I consider ignoring the call, but then think better of it.

‘Dylan, hi. Everything OK?’

‘Where are you?’ he asks, in place of a greeting.

‘I’m in the pub with my workmates from the hotel. Why? Is everything all right?’

‘I came to your bar to see you, but some silly cow with a poker up her arse looked me up and down, and said you’d finished early.’

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