Page 111 of The Gin Lover's Guide to Dating

‘Are you OK, hon?’ one of them asks me.

‘I… I’m…’ I stare at her blankly. ‘I mean… yes… I am. I…have to go…’

Without sharing anything further, I stuff my notepad into my bag, throw on my jacket, and rush out of the bar.

Chapter 31

I’m out of breath by the time I’ve run the three blocks from Hanover Street to the restaurant. Realising that turning up a sweaty mess probably won’t be the best start, I hide around the corner until I’ve cooled down a bit. As I’m taking some deep calming breaths and trying to sort my head out, light snowflakes start to flutter around my head.

All this time, I had thought I was speaking to a complete stranger, pouring my heart out. I have so many questions, my brain feels like it’s about it burst. But I also feel a bit queasy with nerves. How will this go? Will I feel the same way now that we’re meeting in person and I know who GrahamLeeton really is? I realise that if I don’t walk inside that restaurant right now, sweaty mess or not, my mind will overtake my initial instincts. I’ll be paralysed by paranoia and worry about how this will pan out.

‘Right, go!’ I say out loud to myself.

I straighten my top and jacket, then casually stroll around the corner and open the door to Delizioso. It’s a modern and slightly upmarket Italian brasserie just to the north of Queen Street Gardens, where the city centre meets the New Town. Facing the buzz of Friday night diners, and bustling waiting staff, I’m immediately approached by a male waiter.

‘Buona sera, signora. You must be Liv.’

‘Err… that’s right.’ I’m baffled by him knowing who I am.

‘Come with me.’ He flashes me a knowing smile. ‘Signoris waiting.’

He leads me through to the festively lit, beautifully decorated back section of the restaurant where the dining is a bit more private and intimate. As we turn a corner, I see the man I’ve known until now as GrahamLeeton sitting at a table in a white cave-like alcove, looking nervous. My heart skips a beat. Hearing us approach, he glances up. Our eyes meet, and I instinctively know that, despite the less than flowing conversations we have in person, whatever was there online between us is still there.

‘Hi,’ I greet him tentatively as the waiter melts away into the background.

‘Hi.’ Aaron jumps up and pulls out my chair for me.

‘Well, this is a surprise.’ I suddenly feel shy.

‘A good surprise?’ He studies my face, understandably keen to know my reaction to finding out he’s the elusive GrahamLeeton.

‘That depends, I suppose. Aren’t you married?’

‘Divorced,’ he replies. ‘Although I’ve kept that under wraps. I tend not to share my personal life with my staff.’

I glance at his ring finger and see that it’s bare. How did I not notice that before?

‘That’s a good start.’ I say, and although I’m pleased to hear this, I’m not letting him off that easily. ‘It also depends on your explanation for disappearing like that.’

‘OK, let’s deal with that straight away.’ His voice has that clipped tone to it again.

Despite feeling a level of attraction to him I hadn’t previously, I find myself wondering: how he could really be the man who was so open and chatty, and shared so much with me for all those weeks? It seems incomprehensible.

‘Works for me,’ I prompt him, sensing that his intention to talk about it is genuine; making it a reality appears more difficult.

‘Actually, slight diversion.’ He sits forward. ‘I can see you’re wondering how I’m so different in person to who you have gotten to know online.’

‘Is it that obvious?’ I shift in my seat, embarrassed that my innermost thoughts are so transparent.

‘Yes, it is.’ He thumbs his napkin. ‘But that’s OK. It’s a perfectly reasonable question.’

‘Aaron, you don’t have to—’

‘Liv, I do.’ He looks me directly in the eye. ‘I want you to know who I am.’

‘OK, sure.’ I gesture to him to continue.

‘I’ve always been a bit awkward socially. It’s nothing more than a confidence thing – I think. I need to get to know people properly to feel at ease with them and be myself.’

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