Page 13 of Longing for the Ranger

The little minx giggles, smirking. “Sorry, not sorry.”

“Boys, time to go.” I yell, needing to remove myself from temptation.

We make it to Pine Creek campground and get everything set up just before lunch. I’m disappointed to be sleeping in my own tent but am bolstered by the fact it won’t be long before the separation is no longer necessary.

The boys scarf down their lunch of sandwiches and chips Izzy made while they helped me set up the tents. I promised to take them fishing after and they can’t wait.

We actually have success and catch a couple of keepers we can have for dinner. The hike back is filled with exploration and questions, as every outing with the boys usually is. It’s fun to teach them about the things that interest them and impart wisdom of safely recreating in the outdoors.

“Shawn, what kind of berries are these? Are these good ones to eat?” Jake points to a bush with small, bluish purple berries just off the trail.

I’m happy he asked if they are good to eat. We had an incident last time when they almost ate baneberries which are toxic and had to talk about asking for permission and knowing which are okay to eat.

“Those are huckleberries. They are good to eat and super yummy, especially in muffins and pancakes. Go ahead and try some. It’s too bad we don’t have anything to put some in or we could pick them and have them in our pancakes in the morning. Maybe tomorrow we can come back and pick some.”

“Oooh, these are soo good.” Luke announces, lips and fingers turning purple as he eats his fill.

“Alright that’s probably enough. You want to save room to eat this fish you guys caught.” Izzy warns them after letting them graze for several minutes.

“Oh yeah, I can’t wait to eat our fish. I bet it’s going to be so yummy.” Jake says as we continue the hike back to the campground, berries quickly forgotten.

The next morning I’m woken up not by the sounds of the boys as I expect, but Izzy’s frantic voice.

“Luke! Jake! Where are you guys?”

I quickly climb out of my sleeping bag and tent, Missy on my heels. “What’s going on?”

“I just woke up and the boys aren’t in our tent.”

Scanning the area, I don’t see any sign of either of them. My pulse picks up at the thought of something happening to them,but I take a deep breath, knowing Izzy needs me to keep calm right now. “Maybe they just went to the bathroom. Let’s check there and around the campground. I’m sure they couldn’t have gone far.”

My attempt to keep positive quickly wanes as we come up empty with each place we check. After walking the entire campground, calling their names, and checking with other campers who are up, we still have not found them.

“Shawn, they’re not here!” The agony in Izzy’s voice is almost more than I can take.

“We will find them.” I strive to reassure her with more conviction than I feel at the moment. “I’m going to call the ranger station and get more people out here to help look for them. I promise it’s going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that.” Her voice cracks, eyes welling with tears.

Pulling her to me, I rub her back. “We have to stay positive. Spiraling isn’t going to help right now.”

I’ve never been more thankful to have cell service than I am at this moment. Every available ranger is on their way now to help with the search.

“I really don’t want to leave you like this, but I want to go check the trail to the fishing hole. Maybe they went there.”

“I’ll go with you.” She pleads.

“Someone needs to meet the other rangers when they get here and you should stay here just in case they come back on their own.” When she finally nods, I squeeze her tight with relief. It kills me to leave her, but I can’t wait around when I could be looking for them.

“Bring back my boys.” She whispers.

“Promise. Missy come.” I grab my pack and hustle to the trail.

I holler the boy’s names periodically but don’t hear any response. Each passing minute has fear lodging itself deeper.This is a terror unlike anything I have been through before. My chest aches with all the what ifs, but in reality, there’s only one acceptable outcome for this situation. If I can’t keep my promise to Izzy, there will be no coming back from this for her, because there is no doubt at all this will kill her. She will not survive another loss, especially one of this magnitude.

Shoving down the devastating thoughts and worst-case scenario, I focus on the here and now. When Missy whines as we pass a fork in the trail, I pause. The left trail takes us to the fishing hole we were at yesterday. The right heads further into the back country.

I’m torn with indecision. I don’t see any signs the boys went to the right, but it’s a well-traveled trail.

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