Page 27 of Home

“You and Rel are on duty, then?”

“Yes, Sirena. Would you like to take a tour around the grounds? See some of the things to explore other than the palace?”

“No. I have to stay here and meet whoever this Mirilla woman is,” she said irritatedly.

Zahn shook his head. “I sent her away.”

Vivian’s head snapped up and she looked questioningly at him.

“My sworn duty is to protect my Sirena. She is feeling unwell and I determined that it would be detrimental to her state of mind to have to endure meeting more new people today,” Zahn explained.

Vivian’s smile started out slow but grew to a full out grin. “Despite your Sire arranging the meeting?”

Zahn looked her directly in the eye. “Respectfully, I swore to put nothing before my Sirena. It is she I answer to, and all my decisions are based on her welfare. Even those she doesn’t agree with. It just so happens that she agrees with this decision.”

“You’re my favorite friend at the moment, you know that right?”

“I thought I might be,” he said, answering her beaming smile with one of his own. Which was uncharacteristic for Zahn. He rarely showed any kind of emotion at all, other than intensity.

“Does it make sense to you, the reason I don’t want anyone helping me?” she asked.

“It does. But I can also understand why our Sire feels it is necessary to place someone he trusts in your home for any assistance you might need. It defeats the purpose, I think, if you’re made unhappy by the idea of others in your home, tending to what you feel is your responsibility.”

“I know he thinks I’m being difficult. But I’m not. I spent so long finding myself again, learning to be strong again, taking back my life and making it all it could be, that it almost physically hurts to consider handing off some of the things that make me me, some of the things that only I’m supposed to do to someone who is not even part of my family.”

“There is much more to this situation than one female not wanting another in her home,” Zahn said softly.

“Yes, there is! I don’t care if we’re in a palace or on a ship, or in a freaking hut somewhere. This is my life, my family and I’ve struggled through so damn much to live this, to have this. I don’t need things taken care of for me. I don’t want help with mychild. I don’t want help with my home. I don’t want help with my family and our home.”

“It is standard for those living here to have a practical army of staff to see to their needs. They think nothing of it. For them it is normal, the way things are done. I do not think they can understand your point of view.”

“How do you understand it?” she asked, some of the fight going out of her for a moment.

“I’m not noble. I’m not accustomed to having anything done for me.” He paused for a second, not sure just how much he should say, then decided that full honesty was needed at the moment. “And I saw firsthand what you endured. I saw what you fought to come back from, and I see all you’ve become. You had no ability to make the smallest decision for yourself, at the whim of one who had no concern for your needs. It is why control of your own life, your own family, your own space is so important to you.”

Vivian blinked slowly as she realized that Zahn really did understand. “Thank you, Zahn. It means a lot that you understand.”

He smiled and nodded at her.

“There are others that understand as well.”

“I wish Quin did.”

“He is caught up in the briefings his father has insisted he receive in preparation of assuming leadership of Cruestace. He feels that he is not able to be at your side as he’d like to be, so when his mother insists that every female in your position needs assistance and staff and servants to do her bidding and make her life easier, he accepts the offer in substitute for his own time.”

“Hmpf.”

“It comes from a place of love, Sirena,” Zahn said.

“How did you get so smart?”

“It is easy when on the outside looking in.”

“Are they all still down there?”

“No. Samuel, Au'revele, and Elisha have gone off to see the grounds. Chairman Bartholomew had meetings to attend via Vidcom. Ba Re’ is with our Sire within the garrison, preparing forthe training that will soon become a daily schedule for Ba Re’. The Sovereigna’s guards are at the door. Kail and Asl are off duty, and Rel is downstairs. The Sovereign and Sovereigna have been busy all day and occupied all day.”

“Well, you are certainly up to date on everyone,” Vivian said tiredly.

---