Page 212 of Between the Blue
I look back up at Ben, and he smiles, tilting his head.
“Because you’re not her. Not even close.”
He presses his tongue into the center of his lip.
“Because you’re you,” he says. “And you’re the greatest person I’ve ever known.”
My lips part, and I find myself blinking away the sudden burning in my eyes.
“So, to answer your question,” Ben says, stepping closer. “It’s me. I’ve changed. And I’m not letting you walk away from me without a fight. Because I love you, Addison. I love you so goddamn much. And I should’ve told you that a long time ago. I can’t believe I let you say it to me without saying it back. But, I promise, if you’ll let me, I’ll never make that mistake again.”
It’s several seconds before I can get any words out.
“Ben,” I finally mutter. “I…I’m moving to Paris.”
“I know that,” he nods. “And I wasn’t lying when I said I would never ask you to stay.”
I raise a brow at him, trying to understand.
“COBO is your dream,” he says. “And I know what it’s like to have a dream that takes you somewhere else. Somewhere far away from where you thought you’d be. And I know what it’s like having to choose to go when it means you have to leave something behind.”
I nod slowly, appreciating his words, but knowing my confusion at where this conversation is going is showing all over my face.
“You were right, you know,” Ben tells me. “Back in the locker room. When you said I had already gotten my dream. Playing in the NHL was my dream. Being on the Storm has given me that. For ten years now.”
“I’m happy for you,” I say. “I’m happy that playing here has made you happy,”
“Yeah,” he confirms. “And that’s why I’m here.”
I tilt my head to the side.
“I talked to my agent,” Ben tells me.
“Did you come here to tell me you renewed your contract with the Storm?”
“Not exactly,” he says, then blows out a steady breath.
“Hockey is a part of me. It always will be. But it’s not the only thing that makes me happy. In fact, I’m not sure it’s been much of a source of happiness in a long time.”
“What are you saying?” I question him.
“I’m saying, I think I’d like to focus my attention more on where my happiness is actually coming from,” Ben says. “I can play hockey anywhere. So why don’t I play it where what makes me happy is?”
“And where is that?” I ask, my voice quiet.
Ben smiles down at me, taking a deep breath and letting it out before saying, “Like maybe in Paris. On a team for one of the European leagues that’s been hounding my agent for years.”
I think my jaw comes unhinged as I look up at Ben. “You’re moving to Paris?”
“I could be,” he says. “All that’s needed is my signature. It could be done today.”
I shake my head, feeling at a loss for words. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say what you’re thinking.”
I press my lips together. “I’m scared.”
Ben takes a step towards me. “I am too.”
