Page 207 of Between the Blue

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I slam the door behind me.

Don’t even know where my feet are carrying me until I’m in my living room. Stumble over to the entertainment center. Bend down. Throw open the bottom cabinet. The one I never open.

Christmas was the first time in a very long time that I did.

I move aside her photo album. The one of the team.Myteam. My everything.

Or at least it used to be.

I grab the furthest album back. The one covered in dust. Take it out. Wipe it down with my sleeve. Take a deep breath. Then open it.

And, immediately, I break.

Jules.

Every photo I have of her. Of us.

Some of the only evidence I still have that she ever existed at all.

I fall back on to the ground. Let the album land in my lap. Run my hand over my face as I finally let myself sob. A full body sob.

The first one I’ve allowed since her funeral.

But it takes me several minutes to realize that she’s not why I’m crying now.

I’ll always love Jules.

And I’ll never get over her. I didn’t lie about that.

She stole my heart. And I never thought I’d get it back.

But, somewhere along the way, I must have.

Because she helped me find it.

And now…

My phone rings, shattering the spiral I’ve found myself in.

I dig it from my pocket. Glance at the Caller ID. Accept the call.

I don’t say anything when I do, but, somehow, he knows.

Because he’s my best friend.

“Bennett, what’s wrong?” Sutty asks.

I swallow hard. Look down at the photo album. Run my thumb over the photo of Jules at my senior prom.

“She’s gone,” I say.

And the moment I utter the words, I inhale a sharp breath.

Because it brings me right back to another night when Rhett called me. A night I’ll never forget. The night that I lost her. The night I had to tell him she was gone. Gone forever.

“What?” Rhett questions me.

I don’t answer him. But, again, he knows.

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