Up front.
She knows exactly what she wants and she tells you.
There’s no games.
Nothing left to the imagination.
And, as much as I tried to hide from her, she saw right through me.
She saw it all.
The worst of it.
But she still fought for me.
After all I’ve put her through.
She still wanted to fight for me.
But I just can’t let her.
Cherry.
I refused to love her. Because I couldn’t lose her.
But I loved her anyway.
And I’ve lost her anyway.
I wipe the hot tears from the corners of my eyes.
“Goddammit.”
I turn roughly into my driveway. Put the car in park before it’s even done moving. Makes a terrible screeching sound. Don’t have it in me to care right now.
I storm inside my house.
My empty house.
The one I always knew would stay empty. Because there was no room for anyone else in my life. There never would be again.
I’d play hockey. I’d win. I’d come home alone. Lay in my bed. And that would be it.
There’d be nothing more.
Until there was.
Until she forced her way in.
I still don’t know how she did it.
I kept every door locked. Every window sealed tight. Even made the outside as unappealing as possible. Practically built a moat around it and filled it with alligators. Made it a home no one would ever care to enter. One that would send people running in the opposite direction.
Far. Far. Away.
And it worked for so long.
Until her.