Page 138 of Between the Blue
“Well?” I question him, putting my hands on my hips. Ben takes a large step forward, but I refuse to back away. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
I start to pull my head back in shock, but Ben raises both of his hands, cradling my face in them. He sweeps his thumbs across my cheeks, and my lips part in complete bewilderment.
“I knew I was just going to go home and dream about you, and I’m sick of doing that. Dreams don’t do the real thing justice,” Ben whispers, his mouth tilting up into a grin.
“What…” I breathe, not sure this is even really happening right now.
“Dream you doesn’t smell the same.” He leans in, pressing his nose to my hair. “Like apples and flowers.” He pulls back again. “And she doesn’t have the same look in her eyes that you get. Probably because dream you doesn’t hate me.”
“You’re drunk,” I say. “Aren’t you?”
Ben shakes his head, and when I raise a brow at him, he holds his hand up, showing me his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart.
“Maybe a little,” he admits.
I let out a heavy sigh and step backwards. “You shouldn’t have come here, Ben.”
He leans against the doorframe, and I realize now that he was holding himself up when I first opened the door. “I know,” he says. “But will you let me in anyway?”
I shake my head, staring up at the ceiling.
“Please, Addison?”
My head falls back down, and I find Ben looking at me with a deep pleading look in his eyes. I blow out a breath, stepping backwards to make room for him to walk through the doorway. “Only long enough for you to call a ride. And only if you promise not to make me regret it.”
“Thank you,” Ben says, giving me a tight smile as he pushes off the doorframe and steps inside my apartment. His legs are immediately wobbly, and I throw out my arm to steady him.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, righting himself.
“I don’t think you’ve genuinely ever said either of those things to me before this moment,” I tell him as I lead him over to the couch.
“Fuck,” he says, taking up over half of the couch with his huge form as he sits down, running a hand over his face. “I’m sorry.”
I perch down on the other end of the couch, angling my body slightly towards him.
“You also called me Addison.”
“I guess I did.” Ben lowers his hand from his face, staring down at it like it has the magical answer to something he’s been looking for. “I’m just getting everything wrong today,” he whispers so quietly that I can barely hear him. He drops his face back into his hand and I set my feet flat on the floor, inching slightly closer to him.
“What do you mean–”
“Do you mind if I lay down?” Ben suddenly asks.
“Um, I don’t–”
Before I can get my sentence out, Ben lets out a heavy sigh, flopping down sideways. I’m not quick enough to make a move, and his head lands perfectly in my lap, his eyes falling shut.
I’m holding my hands out awkwardly above him, not sure where to put them. I’m about halfway to shoving him off of me when he blows out another deep breath, snuggling further into my lap.
And, immediately, I regret letting him in.
Because it’s hitting me right in the heart how gentle he looks in this moment. So relaxed and content, like a big puppy dog. And because of that, my fight quickly dies. I let my hands fall,one landing on his chest and the other running over the top of his hair.
He lets out a satisfied hum as my fingers thread through his hair, leaning his head back into my touch, the ghost of a smile crossing his face.
“Ben?”
