Page 109 of Between the Blue
“Do you really think that’s what I want?” he asks.
My brows pull together. “What are you talking about?”
“You gone,” he states, looking down on me. “You as far away as possible. Is that really what you think I want?”
My head pulls back. “I think you’ve made it abundantly clear that that’s exactly what you want.”
Ben’s lips press together. “You’re either lying or you haven’t been paying close enough attention, Cherry. As much as it kills me…” He trails off, his eyes showing his mind going somewhere far away.
I take a step closer to him. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that…as much as I would love to want you as far away from me as possible… As much as I tell myself that’s the truth…” He shakes his head, his tongue pressing into his bottom lip.
“Go on.”
His eyes flick up to meet mine. “As much as I tell myself that’s the truth,” he begins again, taking a step forward, “asmuch as my mind is screaming at me to stay far away from you…the rest of me just wants you as close as possible. All the fucking time.”
My lips part, my breath catching harshly in my chest.
Ben’s head tilts, his eyes trailing down my body. “And it doesn’t help when you show up to my place of work in something like this.” He reaches out, grabbing a handful of my gown’s green silk where it bunches at my waist. “This dress…it’s fucking sinful, Cherry. And it makes me want to strike through every last goddamn rule I’ve made for myself in my own personal bible.”
“It’s my place of work too, you know,” I say, trying to keep my voice from wavering, but finding it very difficult with the heat of Ben’s hand against my hip. “I didn’t wear this for you.”
His jaw shifts to the side, his eyes darkening. “I know,” he grits, taking me by surprise. “And that only made me want to peel it off of you even more every second of this evening.”
“Oh,” I exhale.
Ben lets out his own heavy breath, finally stepping all the way inside and letting the door close behind him. “Or, better yet,” he says, bringing his other hand up and gripping both of my hips in his hands, “I thought about making you keep it on the rest of the night.” He walks forward, forcing me to walk backwards. Because of how small my apartment is, it only takes a few steps before my back hits the wall outside my bedroom door.
“Why?” I question him.
“Because there’s plenty I could do to you without the dress ever coming off, Cherry. More than enough to show you who you should’ve been wearing it for all along. And then, just for fun, I’d make sure you never thought of wearing another dress for anyone else ever again.”
My heart is hammering so fast in my chest, and I can feel the redness blossoming all over my fair skin in response to it.
“Well,” I whisper, our faces so close that any higher volume isn’t necessary.
“Well?” he echoes me.
“You better get started.”
Ben’s eyes dart between each of mine. Once, and then twice. I can see the indecision within him. He closes the distance between us, his lips brushing against mine. And then he pulls back just slightly, hesitating. I feel his hands tighten on my waist.
Before I can give it a second thought, I come up onto my tiptoes, tugging on his bottom lip with my teeth, drawing him back in. And in that split second, whatever was in Ben attempting to hold him back fails.
I feel a growl from deep within his chest where his skin touches mine. And then, in the blink of an eye, he dips down, his hands shifting from my hips to behind my thighs. And, suddenly, I’m floating off the ground, suspended in air, and time slows down as Ben presses me back into the wall.
Our eyes meet. My legs wrap around him. He glances down to my mouth. I glance down at his. His hands grab my face. My fingers wind into his hair. And then we close the distance, our lips fitting together like the final two pieces of the most complicated, messy, confusing, mind-bending puzzle you’ve ever seen.
But, just like a puzzle, regardless of how hard it may be to put together, it’s the most satisfying thing to see it whole. And with Ben kissing me now, I feel like I’m looking at the puzzle that is our complex relationship with squinted eyes, watching all of the lines of the separate pieces blurring together until I can’t see the lines at all. As his lips meld against mine and the heat of him permeates through my entire body, it’s so easy to just see the beautiful complete picture. To imagine it was never fragmented to begin with. To think it could maybe just be this. To want that.
“Can I come in by the way?” Ben mutters against my lips, pulling me from my daze.
“Sure,” I gasp. “Door’s open.”
His nose traces along my jaw as he begins peppering kisses down my neck.
“Such good manners of you to ask,” I mumble. “I’m impressed.”
